A long-time FamilyDads subscriber named Steve recently emailed me a story that may challenge and encourage you today:

Steve worked as a a graphic designer/art director for the past 15 years at a top notch firm in Seattle. He was blessed to work in a field that he enjoys and that always presented new challenges, working with tiny start-ups all the way to bigger national clients, doing projects like logos, posters, web sites, packaging, advertising, merchandising and even some video.

But there was a problem.

Steve’s job was VERY demanding, and he was tied to an office away from his family most of the week. His wife was feeling very isolated from her husband, raising the kids and running the home without his input or leadership much of the time. And their marriage wasn’t doing so well either.

Steve and I emailed back and forth about this.

After much prayer and discussion with his wife, Steve took a very courageous step. He gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving his very secure, well-paying job. This happened last year in 2010 by the way… not the rosiest of times in our economy.

I reconnected with Steve recently and asked him how things were going with his work, and more importantly his family.

Steve spent a short time freelancing after leaving his job. Then, an old client asked him to take a position at their company that is a leader in their industry.

Today Steve drives to an office very close to his home, is able to eat lunch with his family every day, enjoys 3-day weekends, and has much less work-related stress.

His marriage and his family are doing much better too. In Steve’s words, “God has really provided for our family in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. My connection with my wife has been better than it ever has in our 16 years of marriage. Wished I had acted sooner.”

That’s what keeps many of us dads from stepping up for our family. Fear of lack of provision. But Scripture tells us…

“Trust in YHUH with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all Your Ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6

We must trust our Heavenly Father for our provision — not our work. He will make our paths straight as we trust Him with all our hearts. That doesn’t mean we just quit a job we don’t like, but that we are led by Him and trust Him, rather than the false security of money.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey, a fellow Family Dad

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Last week was crazy busy for me.  But as I think about it, for most of us dads, every week is super busy, wouldn’t you agree?

And being a super busy dad is one of the gravest dangers to our families.

Something about being super busy, especially with our work, makes us feel productive, successful, a sense of accomplishment, purposeful.

To us, that is.

But not in the eyes of our children.

On more than one occassion, I am sad to admit that I have heard my oldest son scolding his younger sister or brother for interrupting when I’m busy working at my desk.

“Dad’s busy. Leave him alone.”

Oh how those words have cut to my heart like a knife. If there is one thing I don’t want my children to have memories of their father is that he was too busy for them.

If we are too busy with work to spend loads of time with our wife and children every week, then we are too busy — no excuses.

And the fallout down the road will be painful. Our spouse and children will look to other people or other things to fill the void that a husband and father’s love was meant for.

You are the only person on this earth that can meet that deep need your wife and children have. The need for their husband/father’s love expressed through his time with them.

Like a broken record, I will repeat it again…

We must show our love to our family by the time we personally spend interacting with each of them. Each week.

So from one super busy dad to another, let something go at work until next week. Keep one more thing “not crossed off” on your to-do list.

And go spend some more time with your wife and children.

You won’t regret it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – Having to practice what I preach, I spent several hours yesterday afternoon in the large field behind our house picking wild mushrooms the size of potatoes and having a “war” throwing them long distances at my children. Each time one hit the ground, my kids burst out laughing at the explosion it made. We followed that up with throwing a frisbee together for quite a while. They loved our time together, and so did this dad!

P.P.S. – What did you think about the US mid-term election results? Will we see more pro-family legislation in the months ahead?  Post your comments at our FamilyDads Facebook page.

Be sure and watch this video to the end. It has a powerful ending and convicting message to fathers.

As a dad, I have found that one of the greatest temptations is to provide FOR my family at the expense of time WITH them.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

As dads, part of leading our families involves the work God calls us to. Among other things, our work is a significant means of income, a primary channel through which God, our source of provision, supplies money to us and our family.

So imagine this scenario at your place of work. It’s Friday afternoon and your supervisor steps into your office with a seemingly casual question…

“Can you come into the conference room for a brief meeting?”

You finish your email, save the document, or complete whatever task you are right in the middle of, and then make your way down the hall to the company conference room. In the past, you’ve participated in many staff meetings, strategy planning sessions, and even birthday parties in this conference room, but none like today’s meeting.
“As you know, our company’s revenue has gone way down in recent months, and we’ve had to evaluate ways to significantly cut costs. Effective immediately, your position is being eliminated.”

And with that, you find yourself out of a job — without any advance notice and through no fault of your own. What makes this especially painful is the fact that you have given five years of faithful service to your company, many of those weeks spent working well over 40 hours.

When God closes a door in our lives — especially a major one like our work — the natural tendency is to panic and to project negative “what if” scenarios about our future. If we haven’t been in close relationship with God and regularly hearing from Him, we can be be easily overcome by feelings of fear, rejection, and even anger.

The song lyrics of “Look For A Window” give encouragement and advice to the person facing this very scenario:

Hot on the trail of God’s will
And getting warmer still
Stopped by the slam of a door
God, what’d You do that for?

When God closes a door, look for a window
Don’t stand at the door, there might be a window

Responsibilities change
And so do our pathways
One way God shows which way to go
Is to let the old road close

There’s no point in getting down on yourself
God is only pointing you somewhere else

In challenging times like this, a wise dad will go to God with this attitude in his heart and prayers…
“God, this did not take you by surprise. You knew this was going to happen, and You knew when it would happen. I am so grateful that you take care of me and my family. Help me guard my heart and my thoughts as I seek to know what you are doing in my life and what the next step is for me to take. You know our financial needs, and You are the source of provision for my family. So help me remain full of faith in You during this time, waiting on You, listening for Your promptings, and obedient to whatever You tell me. And thank You for your faithfulness to me during the past five years that I worked at this company.”

As I consider my closing thoughts on this topic, my six-year-old son, totally unaware of what I am writing about, just blurted out in the other room…

“Do you know what song I have in my head right now?”

He then proceeded to sing a kid’s song version of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will look after itself.”

I suspect that verse is directly for someone who will read this. Out of the mouth of babes!

If you’re in the midst of job transition, stay encouraged, and continue to…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – This would be a good post to forward along to another dad you may know who is in the midst of job transition. Also, take him out for lunch or breakfast and spend some time with him talking and praying together. He would probably appreciate your friendship, kindness, and prayer support right now.

Do you know the five Biblical uses of money, the spiritual power behind money, the symptoms to guage where you are spiritually with your finances, and the two different economic systems in the world? Learn More