Last week I got creative with our family white board, which we usually use for Scripture teaching or school-related work.

As my children curiously watched me grab one dry-erase marker after another, I drew a picture of my brain in the middle with lots of bubble-captions all around it. Each bubble consisted of something that is currently weighing on my mind.

And I ran out of space on the white board trying to list everything!

My goal was to show my wife and children all the things and “projects” that consume much of my thoughts so they would know why I often feel overwhelmed and “focused” much of the time.

This morning I told my wife I was transferring all these “thoughts” into a text file on my computer.

That’s when she dropped a bomb on me. A huge bomb.

She said… “Make sure you include your children on your list.”

Ka-BOOM! Whoa! I had not even so much as written their names on the white board!

And yet, outside of my faith and my wife, they are the highest priorities in my life. Or are they?

Why did I not start at the top of the white board by listing my wife and children first??? Probably because I take them for granted too much of the time. Truth be told, it is more like MOST of the time.

This was a convicting reminder, once again, that I have to be continually INTENTIONAL — even VIGILANT — about communicating to each person in my family how important they are to me.

And not just with my words, but also with my time, my schedule, my actions.

That means some of the things on my white board won’t get done. At least not as soon as I want them to. But that’s part of being a family dad. We know the importance of prioritizing our family, and we are willing to “cheat” other things in our life so that our wife and children get more of our time and attention when they need it.

So… What’s on your white board?

Time for me to go make some modifications to mine.

From one family dad to another,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

Our Family Whiteboard

Last week was crazy busy for me.  But as I think about it, for most of us dads, every week is super busy, wouldn’t you agree?

And being a super busy dad is one of the gravest dangers to our families.

Something about being super busy, especially with our work, makes us feel productive, successful, a sense of accomplishment, purposeful.

To us, that is.

But not in the eyes of our children.

On more than one occassion, I am sad to admit that I have heard my oldest son scolding his younger sister or brother for interrupting when I’m busy working at my desk.

“Dad’s busy. Leave him alone.”

Oh how those words have cut to my heart like a knife. If there is one thing I don’t want my children to have memories of their father is that he was too busy for them.

If we are too busy with work to spend loads of time with our wife and children every week, then we are too busy — no excuses.

And the fallout down the road will be painful. Our spouse and children will look to other people or other things to fill the void that a husband and father’s love was meant for.

You are the only person on this earth that can meet that deep need your wife and children have. The need for their husband/father’s love expressed through his time with them.

Like a broken record, I will repeat it again…

We must show our love to our family by the time we personally spend interacting with each of them. Each week.

So from one super busy dad to another, let something go at work until next week. Keep one more thing “not crossed off” on your to-do list.

And go spend some more time with your wife and children.

You won’t regret it.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – Having to practice what I preach, I spent several hours yesterday afternoon in the large field behind our house picking wild mushrooms the size of potatoes and having a “war” throwing them long distances at my children. Each time one hit the ground, my kids burst out laughing at the explosion it made. We followed that up with throwing a frisbee together for quite a while. They loved our time together, and so did this dad!

P.P.S. – What did you think about the US mid-term election results? Will we see more pro-family legislation in the months ahead?  Post your comments at our FamilyDads Facebook page.

In my family, we have 4 very active children, a fifth one on the way, a family-run business, a ministry, a mini-farm, and we homeschool.

Finding time to spend alone with my wife is a bit, um… challenging.

Yet I know for an absolute fact that the times I take her out on dates and give her my complete, undivided attention mean more to her — and to our marriage — than almost anything else I could do.

I know this because she has told me so… more than once.

All the flowers, chocolate, jewelry, movies, or anything else I “buy” for her don’t even come close to the love she feels from me when I simply give her my time and focused attention. It makes her feel valued and cherished by me.

One of our best dates was exactly like this. Here are my wife’s own words:

“This is what I can tell you from my heart. I will always remember our date on a cold winter night.”

“Rather than getting desert at the restaurant and rushing off to see a movie, our going to the quiet, empty eating area of a local supermarket was one of the best dates I’ve ever had with you.”

“It was so much better than any flowers or anything you personally could have bought me.  With your work at such a hectic pace in your life, it was like you took the time to stop and focus on me.”

“More than anything, what I really long for is your time and focused attention. I wasn’t sure what you were slipping out of your pocket with a pen in your hand. I thought you were going to share another one of your entrepreneurial ideas or business strategies.”

“It was the coolest thing for you to actually start asking me personal questions.  It was as though my heart began to melt and by the end of our date night I was laughing and holding your hand.”

“One of my favorite books that you own is the my wife journal.  Thank you for keeping it in a private place and guarding what I shared with you. Thank you for making our time together conversational and when I asked you the same questions, thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.”

“Thank you for dazzling me with something more beautiful than diamonds and much more significant than flowers!”

I can’t tell you enough how much my wife appreciated this date. I hope this encourages you in your marriage to set regular times to stop and give your wife your undivided attention and conversation.

(The book she mentioned is called My Wife Journal and is highly recommend no matter how long you’ve been married.)

Abundant blessings,

Joey, FamilyDads.com host

by Joey Watkins

Today’s message is dedicated to all dads everywhere who have children still living at home. I pray this message will penetrate our hearts and impact our actions.

As tempting and overwhelming as it is, we must not let our work consume us. It is so passively easy to get wrapped up in our work, be absorbed in thoughts and actions to get our work done, take on more projects, try to bring closure to existing projects, focus our effort and energy on our work, and give constant attention to our job/career/business to generate more income or because our identity, purpose, or calling are falsely tied to our work.

All at the expense of our family… our wives and children. They crave time with us. They desperately need our time. They need us to simply spend time with them. Often. Daily.

They need our influence. They need relationship with us. And this cannot happen if our work consumes us.

Are our wives and children not the most important people on earth in our lives?

Do we not cherish them greater than everyone else?

Let us then be committed as dads to prioritize them. Every day. Not just on the weekends when we “unwind” from our work.

“But my work is my sacrifice for my family and my way of providing for them.”

The Bible says in 1 Samuel 15:22 that “…to obey is better than sacrifices.” God has called each of us dads to obey Him and His Word in raising our children and loving our wives. And that involves our TIME and proactive involvement in their lives.

As a husband and dad with 4 young children, I constantly remind myself of this message. I pray it stays at the top of your thoughts too.

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