Last week I was with two of my kids at their favorite spot down in our woods which has a tree that blew over and is laying on its side in the shape of a rainbow.

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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One of the questions I ask new FamilyDads subscribers is to identify one of their biggest challenges as a dad.

More often than not, the answer I receive has to do with balancing family and work, stress, patience with their kids, and things like that.

However, one new subscriber recently shared one of his biggest challenges as a dad that I had never heard before. It really got me thinking, and I want to challenge you with it too.

He said one of his biggest challenges as a dad is:

“…not having my Dad around to ask advice, he went to be with the Lord 3 years ago.”

Whoa! That is pretty heavy.

I had several reactions when I read it.

First, I don’t want my sons to be in that position when they become dads one day. I want them to be able to come to me for advice and input when they need it. I want them to draw on my experience, insights, knowledge, and wisdom I’ve gained over the years.

Yes, we all will experience physical death at some point (unless our Messiah returns first!), but I want to be around as long as possible for my family. But unless I take personal responsibility for my health now by my choices in diet, exercise, sleep, and several other fitness factors, I’m not doing my part to make it happen.

Second, I reflected on my relationship with my own father. Do I take him too much for granted? How much longer will he be around? Am I taking advantage of his advice and experience? Is there anything I can do to help or encourage his health and longevity? How is our relationship?

And finally, I wondered about other young men who might be in a similar place without their earthly dad to go to for wisdom and advice as they walk this journey called fatherhood. Can FamilyDads do more to support these men? Are there any subscribers who would be interested in building relationships with fatherless sons like this guy?

Well, that’s a lot to think about. I hope it will do just that… get you thinking… about yourself, about your father, about other fatherless men, and about your own sons when they become dads and will need your advice and experience to draw on!

Feel free to contact FamilyDads with any ideas, suggestions, or input on any of these thoughts.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

P.S. – FamilyDads Fitness is for dads who understand the importance of giving attention NOW to your health and fitness to avoid health problems later that would impact both you and your family. Learn more

Today’s FamilyDads post is dedicated to the birth of my new son, Ahsher Boaz Watkins.

He was born at home early this morning (last night) at 12:14am local time, a very healthy beautiful baby who is already showing a rather peaceful disposition. Mom is doing super too. Best delivery we’ve had yet!

Quick story…

Neither my wife nor I had a boy’s name picked out. Even while my wife was in labor last night in our bedroom, we still did not have a single boy’s name “ready.”

At some point during the evening, I slipped into the family room and opened to a scripture passage I’ve read numerous times but felt led to read again. While reading, it mentioned the tribe of Ahsher (spelled “Asher” in most modern English translations.)

As I read, I sensed in my spirit that I was to use that name if we had a boy.

Ahsher was the name of one of Jacob’s twelve sons. His name is commonly interpreted to mean “happy” or “blessed” because that is how his mother felt when she had him.

But the full ancient Hebraic meaning is “Happiness is in YAH.” (Yah is short for YHWH, the personal name of our Heavenly Father used over 6,000 times in Scripture.)

The middle name “Boaz” is in reference to the husband of Ruth, the great-grandfather of King David. It means “by strength.”

Ahsher Boaz = “Happiness is in Yah, by strength”

Pretty cool how that happened just in time for his birth, without any “advance planning,” worrying, or input on my part or my wife’s.

Sometimes that’s how our Heavenly Father works. He doesn’t always tell us the details in advance — because we don’t need to know — but rather wants us to competely trust Him and not “sweat the details.”

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the counsel of YHWH that stands.” -Prov 19:21

He always knows what He’s doing, and we can truly find our happiness in Him, by strength.

After an almost “all-nighter” home birth, this tired but excited dad is ready for some sleep now!

PS – Here is my favorite macho dad video that is sure to give you a few laughs if you’ve ever had the joy of changing baby diapers. I first posted this video when my fourth child was born two years ago. I still crack up every time I watch it.

“I love you son. I’m proud of you.”

Did you hear these words from your dad when you were growing up? If your dad is still alive, do you hear them from him now as an adult?

If you have a son, do you say these words to him? Very often?

Do you ever proclaim these words publicly about your son where both he and other men hear you?

“I love you son. I’m proud of you.”

In the New Testament of the Bible, there are only 3 recorded instances where God audibly spoke from heaven. Did you know that 2 of these 3 instances are God the Father communicating this very message to His Son Jesus?

At Jesus’ baptism, a voice from heaven spoke audibly to those who were present saying, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.” (Matthew 3:17, Mark 1:11, Luke 3:22)

At the mount of transfiguration, God again spoke, this time from a cloud, saying “This is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. Hear him.” (Matthew 17:5, Mark 9:7, Luke 9:35, 2 Peter 1:17-18)

These are incredibly powerful and affirming words that boys and men of all ages long to hear — need to hear — from their father. It was important for God the Father to communicate this on more than one occasion audibly to His Son Jesus and those who were present. It was important for Jesus to hear these words audibly from His Father.

Likewise, it is important that we fathers speak these words audibly to our sons.

“I love you son. I’m proud of you.”