Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! God has blessed me with a very special wife who has shown me more love, patience, and companionship than any guy deserves!

In honor of the occasion, I thought I would pass along my “Top 10″ list of things you probably shouldn’t buy your wife as an anniversary gift. Not that I have bought any of these for my wife, but just so you know.

Here they are — Top 10 Things NOT To Buy Your Wife As An Anniversary Gift

10. Power Yard Tools (chainsaw, leaf blower, edger, etc.)

9. Computer memory

8. Gift Card to the local grocery store

7. Vacuum Cleaner bags

6. Gym Membership

5. Underarm Deodorant

4. Weight-Loss or Diet book

3. Furnace Filters

2. Laundry Basket

and coming in at #1…

1. A Television Remote

No, you don’t have to thank me for these valuable tips.

Got one to add to this list? Post it below.

Have a great week!

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Husband, Dad, and Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – The best date I ever took my wife on, according to her own words, involved this little brown book.

Well, the big Sunday is coming!

NO, not Super Bowl Sunday… the one after that.

Valentines DAY!

Got plans for the big day of romance with your special woman?

I personally don’t like the idea of focusing just one day out of the year on romancing our wives. It should be something we family dads naturally WANT to do on a very regular basis.

But the busy-ness of work, family, and every other demand on our time and energy can sometimes drag us into a “rut” or take the edge off our romantic creativity and planning.

So here are some ideas I came up with to help you express your love to her if you need a little help. But the important thing is to communicate to our wives, in our own unique way, just how important she is to us, how much we love her, and that we enjoy, desire, and cherish her.

1) Go for a leisurely drive in the countryside and just talk and enjoy the scenery together. Pack a picnic lunch or early dinner and look for a spot to share the meal together. (Hint: don’t have her prepare all the food for the picnic.)

2) Send all the kids downstairs to watch a movie, and then go for a long walk, hand-in-hand, with your gal, sharing with each other whatever she would like to talk about.

3) Write love notes to her and put them in all the places she will be that day… the nightstand, the sock drawer, the bathroom mirror, the fridge, her seat in the car (or minivan), and so on.

4) Organize something fun with your kids so that all of you can express your love for mom together. Let your children give input until you come up with something fun and meaningful together.

5) Have an extended time of praying together alone with your wife. Perhaps at the beginning of the day. Pray for your marriage, your children, your finances, your future, other people, and anything else God leads you to pray about. Let this time be unhurried and Spirit-led — not a laundry list to pray through.

6) Read a great marriage book together out loud, or at least several chapters, such as Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill, or Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

7) Forbid your wife to enter the kitchen all day long, and do all the dishes yourself or with your children helping.

If you’re really courageous, take some time to ask her what you can do to make your marriage better and then listen, carefully and undefensively, to what she tells you. Be sensitive not to get into a verbal fight over this! Don’t try to defend yourself but allow this time to be constructive for your marriage.

9) Do the “get-the-kids-to-bed” routine yourself while your wife takes a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by her favorite music.

10) End the night by candlelight and some physical romance. No commentary needed!

Since our wives are incredibly valuable and meaningful to us, let’s take advantage of this opportunity to intentionally and proactively express our deep love for them this Valentines Day.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Improving Your Marriage

Books don’t transform marriages, but the stories and insights of well-written books on marriage can open up the heart of the reader. And the heart is where change takes place. While there are many excellent marriage resources on the market, I personally recommend several books for us family dads to read. To see which ones they are, check out the marriage category at DadResources.com.

There is a verse in the New Testament of the Bible often quoted to us men about relating to our wives. The New American Standard version translates it like this:

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” 1 Peter 3:7

Now, I used to think that meant we were to understand our wives — know how they think and respond appropriately with our actions. But after twelve years of marriage, let me share with you a story that illustrates rather vividly why “understanding our wives” cannot possibly be the correct interpretation of this verse.

It had been a long night. We didn’t get to bed until after midnight, and then our six-month old awoke around 1am hungry. About every 2 hours thereafter, my wife arose from her sleep to nurse him. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

The next day was our weekly grocery shopping day which we do together as a family. The entire process takes up almost half our day.

By about 5pm that day, my wife told me that she really needed to take a nap and asked if I could hold our fussy baby so she could sleep. Being the sensitive, loving guy that I am, I said “sure!” and took him from her while I finished up checking my email and a few other online tasks for the day.

That’s when I had a brilliant idea… or so I thought!

I proceeded to quietly load up our four kids in the car and took them all out — away from the house — so my wife could get a nice long quiet nap in. I even wrote her a note telling her of my actions and to call me when she woke up.

What a considerate guy! So far so good, right??!

Wrong!  I returned home about 2 hours later to a note that informed me my wife had spent much of the time of our absence in frustration and tears. HUH???

I won’t try to explain, but let’s just stay I was in a “no-win” situation. Had I stayed home with the kids, they would have inevitably prevented her from the nap she so desperately needed. And she would have not been happy. But by taking them out and leaving for a while, she cried because she missed her family and wanted to be with us.

In the end, no harm was done and we all enjoyed family dinner together and a good end to the day.

But I gotta tell you… from one dad to another — “Don’t try to figure your wife out!”

Yes, love her. Yes, be kind and considerate to her. Yes, give her your time, your ear, your muscles, your attention, your affection, and more.

But live with your wife with this understanding: you don’t really have her “figured out,” especially if you think you do.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – I Peter 3:7 is really an excellent verse for us husbands; but the point of this email was to share my story and debunk a common myth. In a different email, we’ll explore what this verse is really teaching.

P.P.S. – Need help with your marriage? Check out the marriage category at DadResources.com

Another marriage may have permanently ended last week when a husband and father of four boys recently flew down to Argentina for a five-day fling with a woman who was not his wife.

If you follow the news, you know I’m referring to South Carolina’s governor, Mark Sanford.

If that wasn’t enough, the event happened over Father’s Day.

Married to his wife Jenny for 20 years — yes twenty — Mark is yet another example of our vulnerability as men in the area of sexual temptation.

Last year, I wrote about then-governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, a husband and father of three daughters, who was publicly exposed for involvement with a woman who was not his wife.

These men’s appetites for sensual pleasure controlled their hearts to the point that it ultimately resulted in acting out their thoughts and fantasies for a brief episode of physical pleasure at the expense of their family.

They betrayed their wives… their children… their grand-children… and more.

This area of temptation probably trips up more dads than any other single issue. Why? Because it is so attractive, so alluring, so provocative, so accessible, and so seemingly easy to keep secret.

Dad, maybe you’re not governor of a state. It doesn’t matter. Whether or not you have public leadership obligations, know this…

Our families are DEPENDING on our loyalty.

Our wives are DEPENDING on our faithfulness.

Our children are DEPENDING on our integrity.

They need our loyalty, faithfulness, and integrity, whether they express it to us or not.

Unfaithful behavior has repercussions that are NOT limited to you alone. They touch many areas of your life… your relationship with God, your wife, your children, friends, co-workers, work productivity, leadership status, finances, and more.

If you struggle in this area of temptation and have not shared it with another man whom you trust for accountability, you need to take that first step.

Find another man or small group of men with whom you can meet regularly to expose your heart, your thoughts, and your actions. Someone you trust enough to share honestly with.

Use Internet accountability software to protect your marriage and setup your wife as your accountability partner to view your Internet viewing daily reports.

In this day and age of “anything goes” morals, we must be loyal to our family with our eyes, our thoughts, our actions… our hearts.

Remember this strategy each time you are tempted: “What I feed grows; what I starve dies.”

Let us also remember to pray for Mark and Jenny Sanford and their four boys during this time.

“Let not immorality be heard of among you.”  ~Ephesians 5:3

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Internet Accountability Software

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A father had three grown children, two sons and a daughter.

One son was divorced. The other son was getting ready to file for a divorce.

The parents had never liked their son’s wife and had tried everything they could to split the marriage and find him another wife.

The sons and the father had a broken relationship. It was so bad, if either son even saw him in a store, they walked down another aisle to avoid him.

There was much bitterness and hatred.

Yet this was a father who was very involved in church, even in prominent leadership roles.

The father attended an event where he heard about God’s promise and provision to fathers, God’s blueprint for the family, and the Biblical role of the father.

God turned the heart of this father in a very significant way… toward his sons, toward his family.

He was so convicted about his failure as a father, he asked himself…

“Is it too late? I’ve already done my child rearing. My children are adults now.”

He wrote 12 letters to his sons. Letters of repentance…

“Would you please forgive me for not being the father to you I should have been?”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to do anything with you?”

“I didn’t know how to call you out as sons?”

“I want to minister to you now.”

“I want to be the father to you that God intended me to be.”

As the father did that, and his heart was turned toward his children, God turned the hearts of his children to him.

The first son turned his heart to God for the first time, came to his father, and began to confess to him things he had done wrong.

The 2nd son, on the very day of filing divorce papers, after listening to the teachings from the event the father attended, was so convicted that he confessed his own sins and turned his heart to seek God.

His wife said when he walked in the door, she immediately knew something had changed his life. She said “I want that” and came with him to his parents for counseling! The parents confessed to the daughter-in-law how they had not loved her and all the things they done against her.

The dad sent the teaching messages to his daughter. Her husband listened.

The daughter said it completely changed his heart and turned his heart toward his family.

God healed this family!

It is a testimony of God’s promise to broken families:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD; And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers…” ~Malachi 4:5-6

God keeps His word.  He  will turn the hearts of a family back to the fathers when the heart of the father is turned to the children.

Norm Wakefield will be sharing this teaching at the Dad Summit, the first-of-its-kind LIVE webinar event for dads. It starts this Sunday night at 9pm Eastern. There is still time to save $15 on Advance Registration.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com