Hey fellow dads, Can you relate to this video? They’re watching and learning from us. Share your comments below.

Every once in a while, a song with a powerful message for us dads comes along.

Trace Adkins recorded the song “You’re Gonna Miss This” that spent a lot of time at #1 on the charts for good reason.

Maybe you’ve heard it?

It’s a message reminding us parents how quickly our children grow up, and how soon we’re going to miss them and all those moments when they were young.

My wife and I both got blurry eyes the first time we heard this song.

The lyrics to the chorus are:

You’re gonna miss this.

You’re gonna want this back.

You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast.

These are some good times,

So take a good look around.

You may not know it now,

but you’re gonna miss this.

Below is Trace Adkins singing this song at the Grand Ole Opry. It’s a great song to listen to again — like on one of those days when being a parent isn’t, shall we say, so much fun.

We all go through times when we are tired. Not necessarily tired of being a dad. Just tired as a person, either physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Have you been there? Are you there right now?

We are especially vulnerable during these times.

We are vulnerable to “messing up” with our children and our wife – doing harmful actions or speaking harmful words to them. We are too tired to give them what they need at the moment, or too tired to refrain from hurting them with our words or actions.

Instead we snap at them, wound them with our words or actions, or make a decision we would not have made if we weren’t tired.

During these times of fatigue, we are also vulnerable to our spiritual enemy.

At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, he went out into the desert for 40 days of fasting and “outdoor life” alone.

At the end of these 40 days, the Bible says he was tired and hungry. It was at that time that satan strategically came and tempted him. (Matthew 4:1-11)

This is a strategy satan uses against us men — awaiting for us to become tired or lacking in resources to tempt us. I have found this strategy effective at times in my own life. Temptations and pressures to fail as a father and husband come when I am tired or in a season of lacking resources.

These two can go hand-in-hand too.

Be aware when you are tired or lack resources. Be especially on guard during these times.

The strategy of your spiritual opponent will be active against you. Remain alert and self-controlled, taking impure thoughts captive.

Pray. Guard your heart. Use wisdom.

Stay committed to God, yourself, and your family during these times.

You can do it, because… you have what it takes. You really do.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” ~Philippians 4:13

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

A Bible Translation From The Language Jesus Spoke

Christians in the Eastern World have for centuries primarily read the Bible in Aramaic, the language that was spoken day-to-day during the lifetime of Jesus, his disciples, and the earliest Christians. Today, the most popular English translation of the Aramaic text is the Lamsa Bible on sale now at DadResources.com.

Many dads and their families are in tough financial circumstances right now. Maybe you’re one of them.

Mark is a self-employed dad, married with two young children, who sent me a very encouraging and insightful email about his own financial situation that may help you.

Here is Mark’s story:

Because my business had dropped by 80% over the last year and half due to the recession, we have been in full-out survival mode!

I believed in my head that I was depended on God’s provision, but my heart and emotions were completely dependent on my bank account and signed business agreements.

Now, my wife and I had handled our finances “by the book.”  We only have our home as a debt (a home we can easily afford and does not stretch us.)  We even had a full year’s salary in savings!  Dave Ramsey would be proud of us.

But God had to empty us of those two dependencies we were leaning on – money in the bank and my business income — to show us His reality for our lives.

Back in June we got down to our last $700!  We were at the point of not having enough to pay the mortgage and medical benefits.  I had come to the end of my abilities to “make it happen.”

Because there was nothing more I could do to “turn the Titanic around,” and because I had been hearing from God that I was not to do anything else but stay the course of my profession and current direction (no matter how bad it was), I finally rested in God’s unseen plan to do something for us.

I finally took my hands off the wheel.

A strange thing happened.  I felt more peace than I had in years!

The best way to describe it was like I had been desperately flying a small plane (with my family on board) through the terrifying storms of a hurricane.  Our plane had been frighteningly jerking and jolting due to the winds.  I could hardly see out the rain-soaked window.  My eyes blinded by deadly lightning all around me.  My hands painfully locked, white-knuckled to the steering wheel.  The wings about to snap off at any second and we would plunge to our death!

This was the picture of the last year and half of survival in my devastated industry.  It had been one of the hardest times of my life.

But when we came to the end of our resources, I felt like I finally broke through the howling winds of the hurricane we were trying to survive, to then break out into the Eye of the hurricane.  The Eye of a hurricane is still and calm.  There are no winds and rain, and the sun is bright.  There is peace and rest there from the storm.  The storm was all around us still, but we were no longer being buffeted by it.

I remained in that state of peace and rest for a couple weeks, with a felt awareness that God was up to something I had not sensed before.  During that time, a few small and random checks came in from reimbursements I had forgotten about or written off.  They were just enough to pay the bills that month.

Then the flood gates of heaven opened up!

In the last 3 months, God has released more business than I could have ever imagined!  I have closed larger deals than ever in my 7-years of operating my own architecture firm.  And they are coming faster than I have ever seen them. They are even the best design opportunities I have had in my firm – they are some of the most exciting designs I have had come in.

Plus, they are coming out of seemingly nowhere.  They are not coming from leads I sowed, but rather from old acquaintances or through channels I was not working on at all.  This unbelievable abundance is coming out of sources and places I cannot claim any credit whatsoever.  It is completely uncanny.

And the work keeps coming!  And I’ve discovered a new rest and a new peace.  I’ve discovered a new Source that had been there all along.  Thank you Father.

=======

I trust Mark’s story has both encouraged and challenged you today.

Feel free to point others to this post who would benefit from Mark’s story.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

This Book Has Major Impact
Living On The Third River is a book that has absolutely revolutionized my thinking about money in a way no other book on money and finances has, and it’s only 68 pages!

Well, the big Sunday is coming!

NO, not Super Bowl Sunday… the one after that.

Valentines DAY!

Got plans for the big day of romance with your special woman?

I personally don’t like the idea of focusing just one day out of the year on romancing our wives. It should be something we family dads naturally WANT to do on a very regular basis.

But the busy-ness of work, family, and every other demand on our time and energy can sometimes drag us into a “rut” or take the edge off our romantic creativity and planning.

So here are some ideas I came up with to help you express your love to her if you need a little help. But the important thing is to communicate to our wives, in our own unique way, just how important she is to us, how much we love her, and that we enjoy, desire, and cherish her.

1) Go for a leisurely drive in the countryside and just talk and enjoy the scenery together. Pack a picnic lunch or early dinner and look for a spot to share the meal together. (Hint: don’t have her prepare all the food for the picnic.)

2) Send all the kids downstairs to watch a movie, and then go for a long walk, hand-in-hand, with your gal, sharing with each other whatever she would like to talk about.

3) Write love notes to her and put them in all the places she will be that day… the nightstand, the sock drawer, the bathroom mirror, the fridge, her seat in the car (or minivan), and so on.

4) Organize something fun with your kids so that all of you can express your love for mom together. Let your children give input until you come up with something fun and meaningful together.

5) Have an extended time of praying together alone with your wife. Perhaps at the beginning of the day. Pray for your marriage, your children, your finances, your future, other people, and anything else God leads you to pray about. Let this time be unhurried and Spirit-led — not a laundry list to pray through.

6) Read a great marriage book together out loud, or at least several chapters, such as Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill, or Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

7) Forbid your wife to enter the kitchen all day long, and do all the dishes yourself or with your children helping.

If you’re really courageous, take some time to ask her what you can do to make your marriage better and then listen, carefully and undefensively, to what she tells you. Be sensitive not to get into a verbal fight over this! Don’t try to defend yourself but allow this time to be constructive for your marriage.

9) Do the “get-the-kids-to-bed” routine yourself while your wife takes a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by her favorite music.

10) End the night by candlelight and some physical romance. No commentary needed!

Since our wives are incredibly valuable and meaningful to us, let’s take advantage of this opportunity to intentionally and proactively express our deep love for them this Valentines Day.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Improving Your Marriage

Books don’t transform marriages, but the stories and insights of well-written books on marriage can open up the heart of the reader. And the heart is where change takes place. While there are many excellent marriage resources on the market, I personally recommend several books for us family dads to read. To see which ones they are, check out the marriage category at DadResources.com.

One night during the Thanksgiving holidays, my 6-year-old son was up late. His older brother and sister had already gone to bed and he was still wide awake, which is unusual for him because he’s usually the first one asleep.

Sensing an opportunity to spend some quality one-on-one time with him, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk with me to see the moon and stars.

Bundling up in our coats and gloves, we ventured out into the cold, crisp night air with no agenda other than just to chat, walk, and take in the night sky together — which he loved.

As we walked, my son would talk about something and then ask “Right Dad?” to which I casually answered “uh-huh” not really considering his questions carefully. After this went on 3 or 4 times, it occurred to me that I might be saying “right” to something that may not have been right.

So I began listening to him more carefully.

The “Right Dad?” question must have come up at least ten more times during our walk. I wasn’t counting, but I began to notice that my son’s “Right Dad?” questions were really not so much about whether he was right or not about a certain thing, but more importantly…

He was wanting AFFIRMATION, VALIDATION, and ACCEPTANCE from the most powerful man in his life… his dad.

Basically, he was looking for my approval of him — that he was “valid” or “approved” or “accepted” by me.

In his booklet You Have What It Takes, best-selling author John Eldredge says every boy is asking the same basic question in his heart: Do I have what it takes? He wants to prove himself to his dad. He wants to impress him. He wants to be loved and accepted by his father. He is looking to his father for gender identity.

This is how God designed it. For us dads to bestow this upon our sons. No one on earth is more powerful in our sons lives than we are as their dads.

It’s something I need to be reminded of regularly. And maybe this little story will help remind you too… Right Dad?

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – It’s almost too late to get a Christmas Cross Light for your front yard or a To Bethlehem board game for your family to have fun together during the holidays. Also, we’ve listed some of our best-selling Christmas gift items that are on sale right now at DadResources.com.

Each year I am amazed at what stores display and people place on their lawns for Halloween. My wife cringes when she takes our children shopping at the local grocery store and has to tell them to look away from the objects that are hanging or sitting on the shelves…. and in our neighbor’s yards.

Witches, ghosts, skeletons, vampires, and more. It’s a rather sad commentary on the mainstream culture today.

So do you have any specific plans with your family this Saturday?

Many choose to celebrate a “fall festival” at their local church or in the community.

Others recognize and commemorate the historic Reformation Day when Martin Luther posted his 95 Thesis on October 31, 1517 in protest to the corruption of the religious leaders of his day.

Last year, rather than buying bags full of junk food candy, our family decided to get creative and make healthy alternatives for the costumed children who would inevitably knock on our front door looking for sugar-filled handouts.

On each individually-wrapped “treat” we attached a Bible verse or a simple message communicating God’s love. Our children had a blast giving them out, and we created a holiday memory they will probably remember — and hopefully emulate — when they have children of their own.

If your family does something fun, memorable, or meaningful for H-Day, please share it to give ideas to the rest of us. Post your message below in the Comment Box.

If not, let me encourage you to make the most of this weekend with your family. Even pray together as a family and ask God to show you how to make it meaningful, memorable, and creatively minister to others who may come from broken homes or don’t know He loves them.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

As dads, part of leading our families involves the work God calls us to. Among other things, our work is a significant means of income, a primary channel through which God, our source of provision, supplies money to us and our family.

So imagine this scenario at your place of work. It’s Friday afternoon and your supervisor steps into your office with a seemingly casual question…

“Can you come into the conference room for a brief meeting?”

You finish your email, save the document, or complete whatever task you are right in the middle of, and then make your way down the hall to the company conference room. In the past, you’ve participated in many staff meetings, strategy planning sessions, and even birthday parties in this conference room, but none like today’s meeting.
“As you know, our company’s revenue has gone way down in recent months, and we’ve had to evaluate ways to significantly cut costs. Effective immediately, your position is being eliminated.”

And with that, you find yourself out of a job — without any advance notice and through no fault of your own. What makes this especially painful is the fact that you have given five years of faithful service to your company, many of those weeks spent working well over 40 hours.

When God closes a door in our lives — especially a major one like our work — the natural tendency is to panic and to project negative “what if” scenarios about our future. If we haven’t been in close relationship with God and regularly hearing from Him, we can be be easily overcome by feelings of fear, rejection, and even anger.

The song lyrics of “Look For A Window” give encouragement and advice to the person facing this very scenario:

Hot on the trail of God’s will
And getting warmer still
Stopped by the slam of a door
God, what’d You do that for?

When God closes a door, look for a window
Don’t stand at the door, there might be a window

Responsibilities change
And so do our pathways
One way God shows which way to go
Is to let the old road close

There’s no point in getting down on yourself
God is only pointing you somewhere else

In challenging times like this, a wise dad will go to God with this attitude in his heart and prayers…
“God, this did not take you by surprise. You knew this was going to happen, and You knew when it would happen. I am so grateful that you take care of me and my family. Help me guard my heart and my thoughts as I seek to know what you are doing in my life and what the next step is for me to take. You know our financial needs, and You are the source of provision for my family. So help me remain full of faith in You during this time, waiting on You, listening for Your promptings, and obedient to whatever You tell me. And thank You for your faithfulness to me during the past five years that I worked at this company.”

As I consider my closing thoughts on this topic, my six-year-old son, totally unaware of what I am writing about, just blurted out in the other room…

“Do you know what song I have in my head right now?”

He then proceeded to sing a kid’s song version of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will look after itself.”

I suspect that verse is directly for someone who will read this. Out of the mouth of babes!

If you’re in the midst of job transition, stay encouraged, and continue to…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – This would be a good post to forward along to another dad you may know who is in the midst of job transition. Also, take him out for lunch or breakfast and spend some time with him talking and praying together. He would probably appreciate your friendship, kindness, and prayer support right now.

Do you know the five Biblical uses of money, the spiritual power behind money, the symptoms to guage where you are spiritually with your finances, and the two different economic systems in the world? Learn More

There is a verse in the New Testament of the Bible often quoted to us men about relating to our wives. The New American Standard version translates it like this:

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” 1 Peter 3:7

Now, I used to think that meant we were to understand our wives — know how they think and respond appropriately with our actions. But after twelve years of marriage, let me share with you a story that illustrates rather vividly why “understanding our wives” cannot possibly be the correct interpretation of this verse.

It had been a long night. We didn’t get to bed until after midnight, and then our six-month old awoke around 1am hungry. About every 2 hours thereafter, my wife arose from her sleep to nurse him. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

The next day was our weekly grocery shopping day which we do together as a family. The entire process takes up almost half our day.

By about 5pm that day, my wife told me that she really needed to take a nap and asked if I could hold our fussy baby so she could sleep. Being the sensitive, loving guy that I am, I said “sure!” and took him from her while I finished up checking my email and a few other online tasks for the day.

That’s when I had a brilliant idea… or so I thought!

I proceeded to quietly load up our four kids in the car and took them all out — away from the house — so my wife could get a nice long quiet nap in. I even wrote her a note telling her of my actions and to call me when she woke up.

What a considerate guy! So far so good, right??!

Wrong!  I returned home about 2 hours later to a note that informed me my wife had spent much of the time of our absence in frustration and tears. HUH???

I won’t try to explain, but let’s just stay I was in a “no-win” situation. Had I stayed home with the kids, they would have inevitably prevented her from the nap she so desperately needed. And she would have not been happy. But by taking them out and leaving for a while, she cried because she missed her family and wanted to be with us.

In the end, no harm was done and we all enjoyed family dinner together and a good end to the day.

But I gotta tell you… from one dad to another — “Don’t try to figure your wife out!”

Yes, love her. Yes, be kind and considerate to her. Yes, give her your time, your ear, your muscles, your attention, your affection, and more.

But live with your wife with this understanding: you don’t really have her “figured out,” especially if you think you do.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – I Peter 3:7 is really an excellent verse for us husbands; but the point of this email was to share my story and debunk a common myth. In a different email, we’ll explore what this verse is really teaching.

P.P.S. – Need help with your marriage? Check out the marriage category at DadResources.com

Recently, I took my 8-year-old daughter out for one of her most favorite events… a date with dad.

After a fun visit to enjoy the furry and feathered animals at a local pet store, we walked across the parking lot to a newly built massive furniture store. It was HUGE — taking up at least a city block, if not more.

Once inside, we were immediately impressed with the size of the store, and even more impressed as we walked around looking at the variety and quality of all the expensive furniture inside.

That’s when I began to notice something potentially DANGEROUS happening in my heart.

I sat down and leaned back in a very nice leather recliner couch. It was luxurious and very comfortable.  I casually mentioned to my daughter, “This is much nicer than our couch.” She agreed.

Then we went over to the bedding section and began testing the selection of mattresses, laying down on one after another. Again, we commented on how much more comfortable and nicer they were than ours at home.

After wandering around the store together through room after room of showroom furniture, we finally made our way back to the entrance.

Heading back across the parking lot, we walked past a late-model luxury car. I noticed the inside, which sported an elegant wood trim dashboard console and stylish leather interior.

“Wow,” I thought to myself. “That car sure is a lot nicer than ours.”

My heart wrestled with these longings for “bigger and better”, “nicer and newer” things as we made our way to our car. Before me was a choice: to allow discontentment to take root in my heart, or to be thankful and grateful for the provisions God had already given to me and my family.

When we compare the provisions God has already given us with newer, nicer, more expensive, and more comfortable items that don’t belong to us, there is usually a struggle, a wrestling, a temptation, a DANGER — envy, covetousness, and discontentment.

Whether it’s a new car, a recreational vehicle, furniture, a house, or even our spouse, when we compare what has already been provided to us with what is “out there” in the marketplace, a tv commercial, a webpage, or even another person, we run the risk of becoming discontent in our hearts. Which can lead to foolish decisions and regrets, bondage to debt, and even more tragic consequences in our lives.

If we compare any provision God has given us with something else that we don’t have, there is potential for danger around the corner. We must always be on guard, paying attention to what is happening in our hearts in any given situation.

“Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Attention Dads with Daughters: Two Great Resources

She Calls Me Daddy Seven Things Every Man Needs To Know About Building A Complete Daughter Learn More

What A Daughter Needs From Her Dad How A Man Prepares His Daughter For Life Learn More