As a dad, I have found that one of the greatest temptations is to provide FOR my family at the expense of time WITH them.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

We all go through times when we are tired. Not necessarily tired of being a dad. Just tired as a person, either physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.

Have you been there? Are you there right now?

We are especially vulnerable during these times.

We are vulnerable to “messing up” with our children and our wife – doing harmful actions or speaking harmful words to them. We are too tired to give them what they need at the moment, or too tired to refrain from hurting them with our words or actions.

Instead we snap at them, wound them with our words or actions, or make a decision we would not have made if we weren’t tired.

During these times of fatigue, we are also vulnerable to our spiritual enemy.

At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, he went out into the desert for 40 days of fasting and “outdoor life” alone.

At the end of these 40 days, the Bible says he was tired and hungry. It was at that time that satan strategically came and tempted him. (Matthew 4:1-11)

This is a strategy satan uses against us men — awaiting for us to become tired or lacking in resources to tempt us. I have found this strategy effective at times in my own life. Temptations and pressures to fail as a father and husband come when I am tired or in a season of lacking resources.

These two can go hand-in-hand too.

Be aware when you are tired or lack resources. Be especially on guard during these times.

The strategy of your spiritual opponent will be active against you. Remain alert and self-controlled, taking impure thoughts captive.

Pray. Guard your heart. Use wisdom.

Stay committed to God, yourself, and your family during these times.

You can do it, because… you have what it takes. You really do.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” ~Philippians 4:13

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

A Bible Translation From The Language Jesus Spoke

Christians in the Eastern World have for centuries primarily read the Bible in Aramaic, the language that was spoken day-to-day during the lifetime of Jesus, his disciples, and the earliest Christians. Today, the most popular English translation of the Aramaic text is the Lamsa Bible on sale now at DadResources.com.

This is an inspiring story about a unique father-son relationship. The first time I heard their story, I was deeply moved by the father’s love and commitment to his son.

The dad works a graveyard shift — 11pm to 6am — so that he can accommodate his son’s schedule.

But that’s not all.

As you will see in the video, this dad gives us a wonderful example — perhaps more extreme than mine or yours — about what it truly means to prioritize our family, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. It involves sacrifice, denying self of comfort and “status quo,” but also much joy and greater blessing than we can imagine.

Many dads and their families are in tough financial circumstances right now. Maybe you’re one of them.

Mark is a self-employed dad, married with two young children, who sent me a very encouraging and insightful email about his own financial situation that may help you.

Here is Mark’s story:

Because my business had dropped by 80% over the last year and half due to the recession, we have been in full-out survival mode!

I believed in my head that I was depended on God’s provision, but my heart and emotions were completely dependent on my bank account and signed business agreements.

Now, my wife and I had handled our finances “by the book.”  We only have our home as a debt (a home we can easily afford and does not stretch us.)  We even had a full year’s salary in savings!  Dave Ramsey would be proud of us.

But God had to empty us of those two dependencies we were leaning on – money in the bank and my business income — to show us His reality for our lives.

Back in June we got down to our last $700!  We were at the point of not having enough to pay the mortgage and medical benefits.  I had come to the end of my abilities to “make it happen.”

Because there was nothing more I could do to “turn the Titanic around,” and because I had been hearing from God that I was not to do anything else but stay the course of my profession and current direction (no matter how bad it was), I finally rested in God’s unseen plan to do something for us.

I finally took my hands off the wheel.

A strange thing happened.  I felt more peace than I had in years!

The best way to describe it was like I had been desperately flying a small plane (with my family on board) through the terrifying storms of a hurricane.  Our plane had been frighteningly jerking and jolting due to the winds.  I could hardly see out the rain-soaked window.  My eyes blinded by deadly lightning all around me.  My hands painfully locked, white-knuckled to the steering wheel.  The wings about to snap off at any second and we would plunge to our death!

This was the picture of the last year and half of survival in my devastated industry.  It had been one of the hardest times of my life.

But when we came to the end of our resources, I felt like I finally broke through the howling winds of the hurricane we were trying to survive, to then break out into the Eye of the hurricane.  The Eye of a hurricane is still and calm.  There are no winds and rain, and the sun is bright.  There is peace and rest there from the storm.  The storm was all around us still, but we were no longer being buffeted by it.

I remained in that state of peace and rest for a couple weeks, with a felt awareness that God was up to something I had not sensed before.  During that time, a few small and random checks came in from reimbursements I had forgotten about or written off.  They were just enough to pay the bills that month.

Then the flood gates of heaven opened up!

In the last 3 months, God has released more business than I could have ever imagined!  I have closed larger deals than ever in my 7-years of operating my own architecture firm.  And they are coming faster than I have ever seen them. They are even the best design opportunities I have had in my firm – they are some of the most exciting designs I have had come in.

Plus, they are coming out of seemingly nowhere.  They are not coming from leads I sowed, but rather from old acquaintances or through channels I was not working on at all.  This unbelievable abundance is coming out of sources and places I cannot claim any credit whatsoever.  It is completely uncanny.

And the work keeps coming!  And I’ve discovered a new rest and a new peace.  I’ve discovered a new Source that had been there all along.  Thank you Father.

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I trust Mark’s story has both encouraged and challenged you today.

Feel free to point others to this post who would benefit from Mark’s story.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

This Book Has Major Impact
Living On The Third River is a book that has absolutely revolutionized my thinking about money in a way no other book on money and finances has, and it’s only 68 pages!

Where I am, it’s snowing right now. And for my kids, the word “snow” is synonymous with “fun.” I think if they had to choose between a day at a theme park or playing in the snow, they would probably choose the snow.

In a few hours, enough snow will have accumulated on the ground for them to spend the afternoon running and playing in the white stuff.

My work allows me the flexibility to spend time with my children when I want to — such as an afternoon in the snow. I am very grateful for this flexibility. It is one of the rewards of self-employment.

But I still have to make that choice to give my time to my family. I could just as easily spend my afternoon getting “caught up” on work, emails, and other pressing tasks.

My kids would still run out and have a good time without me.

But that’s just it. It would be WITHOUT DAD!

Years from now, when they are grown, I want my children to be able to look back on their childhood memories and remember the times when dad WAS there. I want to model that kind of fatherhood to them so they can model it to their children and pass it down for generations to come.

An absent dad is one of the most damaging things that can happen to a child. It is also one of the most effective tactics used today to break down the family and develop apathy and disrespect of children toward their fathers.

I pray you will have many opportunities this year to choose time with your children over your work, hobbies, and other distractions. Your work will always be there, but your children won’t.

Involving your children in your life and investing your time in their lives is something we family dads MUST do!

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Choosing To Cheat is a book by Andy Stanley I highly recommend to dads who struggle with giving their family enough time or who aren’t in a position to do so because of their job responsibilities or workload.