While taking a prayer walk recently, I was reflecting on the fact that my dad turned 72 this past year and was now fully in the “4th quarter” of his life.

3 thoughts quickly filled my mind.

30 years from now, my dad will be gone.

I will be at the same stage of life my dad is now.

And my oldest son will be my age — likely with a family of his own.

It begged several questions in my mind:

“What will it be like not having my dad around?”

“When I am his age looking back, will I be pleased with how my life turned out?”

“What am I doing to prepare my sons for their journey ahead as men, husbands, and fathers?”

Sure, they’re just kids now. And 30 years is a long time — or is it?

I believe it’s very healthy to contemplate the future. As leaders of our families, we dads must have vision. We must have plans to turn our vision into reality. And we must have perseverance and discipline to be consistent and proactive in leading our families.

Here’s an example to illustrate this.

One of my highest priorities for my children is that they have a strong knowledge and love of Scripture when they are adults. That’s part of my vision for them.

So we read Scripture together. As a family. Often. Each of our children (who are old enough to read) has their own copy of Scripture. We have “Scripture Reading Time” several times a week (my goal is daily.) We all sit together in our family room in a circle or around our dining room table. I start and we go around the room taking turns reading. I give commentary and we discuss what we read along the way. It’s a great way for them to build communication skills, but more importantly to discuss and absorb Scripture from their father. From their father – the one who was divinely given the greatest influence in their lives.

We’re also working on memorizing Scriptures together as a family, learning to hide it in our hearts (Psalm 119:11) and meditate upon it (Psalm 1:2).

This is just one example of how vision becomes reality, and I’d love to hear what visions you have for your family and what you are doing to see them come to pass. So please post your comments below, and let’s learn from one another.

And always remember…

“Come now, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow let us go into this city and spend a year there, trade and make a profit.’ Whereas you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” -YA’acob 4:13-14 (called James in modern Bibles)

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
A fellow Family Dad

Last week I was with two of my kids at their favorite spot down in our woods which has a tree that blew over and is laying on its side in the shape of a rainbow.

At about 5 feet off the ground at its highest point, this “rainbow tree” as we’ve named it makes a perfect athletic challenge for my kids who love to climb on it.

My eight-year-old son made his way to the highest part of the sideways trunk and proudly asked me…. “Dad, is this dangerous?”

Without hesitation, I *almost* replied… “No, not really. It’s not that high.”

But then, I had a slight impression to mentally probe a little deeper into the motive behind his question. What was he really asking me?

“Dad, am **I** dangerous?” “Dad, do I have what it takes to be a man?” “Dad, as my father, as the man I most look up to, respect, and admire at this stage of my life, do you affirm me?”

Before me was an opportunity to either casually ignore my son’s inquisition about his growth toward manhood, or to build him up in it.

“Yes, son. That IS dangerous. Be careful!” came out of my mouth instead.

And so, with a smile back at me, my son continued to conquer the sideways rainbow tree, beaming at the thought of how “dangerous” he was. In a good way.

Application for me as a dad: Always consider my words when interacting with my children. Never be flippant in my responses to them. Sometimes, probably more often than not, there is more “below the surface” to their questions. When giving answers, look for ways to affirm, validate, and communicate to my children that I love them deeply and respect them as individuals.

For daughters, the questions may come out more like… “Am I pretty?” “Can you spend time with me?” “Can we do something together?” For she is looking for affirmation from her father of both her outward AND inward beauty. And she wants to know that you treasure her and desire to pursue relationship with her.

And remember… this applies to our children at any age.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – One of the most impactful interviews I’ve ever heard on this topic of validating our sons and daughters as their fathers was this video interview with John Eldredge. It’s a MUST-WATCH!

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Last week I had extended family in town, and one of our days together included a leisurely drive on the historic Natchez Trace Parkway in Tennessee.

When I was younger, I really had no interest in history. I just thought it was boring and irrelevant to modern times. But as a man and a dad now, I find it interesting to learn about the journeys and times of those who lived in earlier eras.

I recently heard that in ancient Hebrew culture, the past and the future were “flipped.” They saw the past as “what is before us, what we can see” and the future as “what is behind us, what we don’t know and cannot see.” Pretty interesting perspective when you consider how this might have affected them as family units, as a people, and in their decision-making.

I know a pastor who visits his local cemetary just to reflect, pray, and read the gravestones. He says it really helps give perspective on how short and temporary life is in light of eternity.

A fellow dad has mentioned numerous times of the impact on him from meeting regularly with an old guy once a week for breakfast… just to gain the wisdom and perspective of this older man.

“You do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. For what is your life? You are like a thin mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” — James 4:14

Do you find yourself dwelling upon the future and projecting what it may hold for you? Or do you take advantage of opportunities to absorb history, knowledge of past generations — the lives, the experiences, the wisdom of those who have gone before us?

It helps bring perspective on life. And on fatherhood.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

Next Friday, one week from today, the movie Courageous opens in theaters across the USA.

I was invited to a pre-screening earlier this summer, and I can tell you it was a very emotionally “moving” experience for me to watch this movie.

Go see this movie. Seriously.

Take your wife, or go with a buddy or two. (But I don’t recommend bringing your children. With a law enforcement storyline, it includes violence and themes inappropriate for them.)

Without giving too much of the storyline away, the movie is about the lives of five dads, four of whom work together as police officers. Each dad comes from a different background and upbringing, which impacts their roles as fathers and how they handle issues of faith and family in the movie.

The movie is very fast-paced, full of action, and “what’s-gonna-happen-next?” moments.

You can watch the opening scene and trailer here–
http://www.courageousthemovie.com

To find a theater showing Courageous near you, go to http://www.courageousthemovie.com/theaterlist

Mark your calender. September 30. Go see this movie.

And let me know how it impacts you.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – I’d like to send you a resource called Courageous Living which includes inspiring quotes from the movie and excellent devotional messages for men on faith and family. We will mail it to you (in the US or Canada) with a donation of any amount to FamilyDads during the month of September.

PPS – Please contact FamilyDads if you recently signed up through the FamilyDads link for the training group I recommend called Inner Circle with Ryan Lee. I’d really like to help you implement this training and develop more time for your family.

Why is it that our youngest kids seem to regularly “do their business” at the most inopportune times?

In our family, it’s usually right when we’re ready to read Scripture, or about to head out the door to go somewhere when we hear our 2-year-old rather confidently proclaim, “I did pooh-pooh!”

Changing diapers is one of those really “practical” ways I try to help my wife. But I’ll confess, I do find it challenging to hold my tongue day after day and not gripe about this rather unpleasant task.

Sooner than I know, my 2-year-old son will be 6 years old and then 13 years old. And then he’ll be a dad himself one day.

Rather than grumble our way through those messy diapers and smelly wipes, we need to keep perspective by remembering that this too is part of life, it shall pass, and enjoy our kids while they are still young.

On the lighter side, if you have either already been through, or currently are in this stage of fatherhood, here is a video tribute for dads on the joys of changing diapers that is sure to bring a chuckle to you today–
http://familydads.com/blog/dads-changing-diapers/

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
a fellow Family Dad

PS – If you signed up for Inner Circle, please contact us and let us know so we can notify you of our prayer support calls and also we want to send you our takeway notes from the weekly webinars. This week’s topic is on easy ways to get an ordinary blog to the top of Google – no matter how competitive the market is.

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