As a dad, I have found that one of the greatest temptations is to provide FOR my family at the expense of time WITH them.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

A dad in Texas shared an amazing story that recently happened at the company where he works.

His story makes a very strong case about our priorities…

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We all know how the economy is going nowadays, and probably most of us, if not all, are concerned about the near future, our jobs, and praying hard about it.

Yesterday at church I saw a good buddy of mine, and he was not looking good. So I took him aside and asked him what was going on. (We are accountability partners, and we often go straight to the point, no “how are you ?” between us.)

He told me that at his workplace “pink slips” were flying all around him, personnel reduction was the “word of the month,” and he was very worried about his job.

He works in IT and was studying madly to get a very hard IT certification to make his position harder to get rid of.

I understood, since I share his same concern, and I am in the ’same boat’ so to speak.

That made me think, and I told him the story I want to share with you all, that happened in my workplace last week.

Last Monday, as soon as we got to the office, we were told that one of the oldest executive managers in the company, “James” had passed on the night before, in his bed.

James was the General Manager of our most lucrative sales market, he had been the company VP and CFO
in different times, and was one of the oldest employees of the company.

The guy was working 12-14 hours a day, taking very little care of himself, and work was his life.

You all see where this is going, right?

A few days after the funeral, I was in the car with our VP, going to Dallas, for business. In the car we started to talk almost immediately about James and what had happened.

After a few casual comments of sorrow about his death, the VP made a comment that gave me the chills …

She said “You know, James “passing away” is going to save the company a lot of money, his salary was quite good, and all in all, we were considering “letting him go” anyway, for we still have to cut salaries and personnel…”

My heart sunk, for I realized how little “James” the man, the individual, had mattered to the company.

Technically, the comment was right.

Under the moral and “human” perspective, it was chilling.

Today, a week after the event, “James” is nearly forgotten.

Gone, merely a faint memory. His position will not be replaced, the company will save money, and that is the end of a 17 years old career.

Guys, put your time, heart and effort in your family and in God.

I still remember the stories my grandfather used to tell me, and he passed away 25 years ago.

My children still laugh and cherish the stories I tell them about my mother’s grandfather…

It’s just money, folks… rust and moths.

What really matters is in the hearts of people you live with, share laughs, experience life and faith with.

You (we all) are not what your job says.

We are fathers, husbands, a brother, a friend, a son of a wonderful God.

Your company will erase the memory of you in a few days, if you drop dead tomorrow.

Your family will remember you forever — put your sweat and effort where it will bear good fruits.

Sorry for the story, it’s probably depressing, but I felt the urgent need to vent…

God Bless you all, brothers.

TexasDad

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I pray this story has been a clear reminder to all of us dads of what and who to truly prioritize in 2009.

Blessings to you and your family in this new year,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – The best resource I’ve found on helping dads make and keep the right priorities is–
http://www.dadresources.com/product.asp?itemid=15