A Dad Didn’t Anticipate This

A long-time FamilyDads subscriber named Steve recently emailed me a story that may challenge and encourage you today:

Steve worked as a a graphic designer/art director for the past 15 years at a top notch firm in Seattle. He was blessed to work in a field that he enjoys and that always presented new challenges, working with tiny start-ups all the way to bigger national clients, doing projects like logos, posters, web sites, packaging, advertising, merchandising and even some video.

But there was a problem.

Steve’s job was VERY demanding, and he was tied to an office away from his family most of the week. His wife was feeling very isolated from her husband, raising the kids and running the home without his input or leadership much of the time. And their marriage wasn’t doing so well either.

Steve and I emailed back and forth about this.

After much prayer and discussion with his wife, Steve took a very courageous step. He gave notice to his employer that he would be leaving his very secure, well-paying job. This happened last year in 2010 by the way… not the rosiest of times in our economy.

I reconnected with Steve recently and asked him how things were going with his work, and more importantly his family.

Steve spent a short time freelancing after leaving his job. Then, an old client asked him to take a position at their company that is a leader in their industry.

Today Steve drives to an office very close to his home, is able to eat lunch with his family every day, enjoys 3-day weekends, and has much less work-related stress.

His marriage and his family are doing much better too. In Steve’s words, “God has really provided for our family in a way that I hadn’t anticipated. My connection with my wife has been better than it ever has in our 16 years of marriage. Wished I had acted sooner.”

That’s what keeps many of us dads from stepping up for our family. Fear of lack of provision. But Scripture tells us…

“Trust in YHUH with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all Your Ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” -Prov 3:5-6

We must trust our Heavenly Father for our provision — not our work. He will make our paths straight as we trust Him with all our hearts. That doesn’t mean we just quit a job we don’t like, but that we are led by Him and trust Him, rather than the false security of money.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey, a fellow Family Dad

PS – Last day today to save over 50% on the best coaching program I know for dads who want weekly training by a fellow dad who is highly skilled in many proven strategies for leveraging your time, working smarter, and generating more income. I am personally enrolled in this program and highly recommend it. Details

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Dad Video: Children Spell Love T-I-M-E

Be sure and watch this video to the end. It has a powerful ending and convicting message to fathers.

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Dad Tip for 2009… and read Choosing To Cheat by Andy Stanley

As we wind down 2008 and shift our focus to the new year ahead, I’d like to give you what I consider to be a very, very important “Dad Tip.”

Here it is:
Create a list of “must-read” books that you believe will benefit you greatly and help you improve in the area of being a better husband and dad this year.

Then, start reading those books, one at a time. And keep your list on your night stand beside your bed.

Now, depending on how much of a reader you are will determine how many books will be on your list. But I suggest at least one book a month.

There are a surprisingly growing number of books out there that have been written just for us dads on fatherhood and marriage.

Choosing to Cheat by Andy StanleyOne book that I STRONGLY recommend you put at the top of your list — to read at the beginning of the new year and not later on — is a quick but very helpful book by Andy Stanley called “Choosing To Cheat: What Happens When Work and Family Collide.”

I would give a copy to every FamilyDads subscriber if I had the financial means to do so. That’s how strongly I feel about this book.

I know from personal experience after reading and applying to my own life and family how radically transforming the truths in this book are.

The basic premise is that we all cheat. That is, we all make decisions every day to give up one thing in order to gain something else that we consider is of greater value.

Sometimes we cheat in a “good” way, like when we cheat our tastebuds and say no to dessert for the benefit of our waistline. :)

But all too often, when we apply “cheating” to the arena of our schedule, we are faced with a variety of choices and opportunities that are each competing for our attention — our most valuable resource — our TIME.

Work… Family… Hobbies… House Projects… Sports…

The list is endless.

Andy Stanley has spent hundreds of hours with dads who have cheated their families for the sake of their career goals.

One decision after another to work late at the office and cheat family time. Or cheat our children’s ball games and activities because of workloads and work deadlines.

But without making significant changes, cheating our family has the potential to erode the foundations of even the strongest marriages — and damage our relationships with our children.

The solution, strangely enough, is similar to the problem. Both involve cheating.  Simply put, we must choose to cheat at work rather than at home.

Choosing To Cheat is ultimately a book about establishing priorities — those things we say “yes” to even when it means saying “no” to other important things. It is a principle that is already at work in our lives.

When we choose to cheat in accordance with God’s priorities for our lives, it is an invitation for Him to bless us and our family in ways we never dared to imagine.

What will be your priorities in 2009? What will you choose to cheat?

Learn More and Order “Choosing To Cheat” for yourself, or as a gift for a fellow dad, co-worker, or friend, at DadResources.com, the bookstore that supports FamilyDads–
http://www.DadResources.com/product.asp?itemid=15

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When Work And Family Collide

With only 24 hours in a day, we dads simply cannot fit everything in — work, family, hobbies, fitness, house chores, yard work, socializing, sleep. And what we choose to cheat reveals our true values, regardless of what we think our values are. When you choose to leave work an hour earlier, miss a round of golf, or let the dishes sit while you spend time with your child, you make your family feel valued and you communicate their priority to you. Best-selling author Andy Stanley shares from having spent hundreds of hours with men and women who have cheated their work for the sake of career goals. Strangely enough, the solution is similar to the problem. Both involve cheating! This book is a highly recommended FamilyDads resource. Learn More and Order

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