Have you ever been at a place in your marriage where you and your wife were not lined up in your priorities? Maybe you wanted to focus on items 1, 3, and 5, but she thought items 2, 4, and 6 should be given higher priority.

This can quickly begin a cycle of strife and stress that will not be resolved until root issues causing the division are dealt with.

Much marriage division is the result of DI-vision. That is, two visions. My vision is different from my spouse’s vision. I see things from one perspective, and she sees them from another. I place greater importance on certain things, while she places higher importance on others.

I have found that talking things through, thinking aloud together, and trying not to be overly defensive with “my position” can help. I need to share *why* I feel a certain way about a matter, while my wife tries to see things from my perspective. And she needs to share while I listen and try to see things from her perspective.

Even doing this may not resolve differences in one conversation, but then again it might. And it’s worth doing.

We also need to pray and seek Divine guidance in the areas of our division.

There may be fears, insecurities, or other areas of sin that need to be confessed and corrected.

It may help to get together with another couple we both respect and share with them the challenges we are facing in our marriage.

Finally, we husbands are instructed to honor our wives:

“You husbands live with [your wives] according to knowledge, giving honor to the woman, as to the weaker vessel…” -I Peter 3:7

If your marriage is challenging right now, is there any way in which you are not honoring your wife? Are you giving her the value that is due her as a woman and as a more fragile vessel?

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey

Improve Your Marriage While You Drive – See our Top Recommended Marriage Audiobook

Is it just me or has April been extremely busy for you too?

Maybe its because I always procrastinate and do my taxes just before the deadline. Or maybe because my wife’s birthday is in April and birthdays are significant planning celebrations in our family. Or maybe because its spring gardening season and we’ve planted our biggest garden ever. Or maybe because our little newborn has been helping me appreciate the value of sleep these past few weeks.

But in all this dad’s busy-ness, I have to confess that I’ve neglected something very important:

** Spending one-on-one time with my wife. **

She needs this more often than I typically realize.

She needs me to be with her at times without the kids clamoring around.

She needs regular doses of my undivided attention, looking her in the eyes, and engaging in ongoing meaningful conversation.

She needs my affection. In a purely affectionate, tender way.

She needs me to spend time praying together with her. And discussing her spiritual walk and mine.

I see where I’ve dropped the ball with my wife, so I’m doing something about it… starting tonight.

I’m picking her up at 4:30pm sharp and the rest of the day is blocked off just for her. And I’m putting this on my schedule for the weeks ahead.

How about your marriage?

Is your wife needing “more of you?”

Your marriage is the second most important aspect in your life — second only to your relationship with your Creator. It’s more important than your work. It’s more important that your church involvement, your “ministry” endeavors, your charity efforts, your hobbies, and also more important than your kids!

Yes, it really is. So let’s continue to keep our wives a top priority.

“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your fleeting life…” Eccl 9:9

Recommended Marriage Resources For Dads
Love and War by John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge
Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill
Love and Respect by Emerson Eggeriches
Walking Worthy As A Husband by Norm Wakefield

Last year, our attempt at a backyard spring garden was pitiful. We started too late, the weeds quickly overtook our progress, my children hated to go out and work in the heat, and I think the bugs ate more of our harvest than we did.

This year, things are starting out MUCH better!

I did a lot of research during the off-season and made some BIG changes.

First, we started much earlier (in late February.) We’ve given considerable effort to improving our soil. We’ve found plant varieties that are more heat and drought resistant. We’ve laid down hundreds of feet of weed blocking fabric. And my children are actually enjoying our daily afternoon times working together with dad out in the family garden.

Honestly, I’ve been amazed at their improvement in attitude and willingness to work — even my teenage son!

Gardening can be a fantastic way to spend time together as a family. Not only can you grow much of your own food and cut your monthly expenses way down, but it is a great way to spend time together as a family doing something productive.

To this day, I can still recall my dad’s involvement and the exact location of our family garden when I was just a young boy.

You can also give away some of what you grow to those in need.

If you don’t have a family garden, I encourage you to start one. Together. As a family.

But take my advice — start small… very small. Don’t plant more than three or four things your first year. And do some research online regarding how to prepare the soil.

And if you’re going to do a family garden this spring and haven’t started yet, you’d better hurry. I don’t want you to experience what we did last year.

Happy Gardening!

PS – If you’d like some input on family gardening from a fellow dad who has done a lot of research and has a bit of experience under his belt now, contact me for some helpful gardening tips.

Today’s FamilyDads post is dedicated to the birth of my new son, Ahsher Boaz Watkins.

He was born at home early this morning (last night) at 12:14am local time, a very healthy beautiful baby who is already showing a rather peaceful disposition. Mom is doing super too. Best delivery we’ve had yet!

Quick story…

Neither my wife nor I had a boy’s name picked out. Even while my wife was in labor last night in our bedroom, we still did not have a single boy’s name “ready.”

At some point during the evening, I slipped into the family room and opened to a scripture passage I’ve read numerous times but felt led to read again. While reading, it mentioned the tribe of Ahsher (spelled “Asher” in most modern English translations.)

As I read, I sensed in my spirit that I was to use that name if we had a boy.

Ahsher was the name of one of Jacob’s twelve sons. His name is commonly interpreted to mean “happy” or “blessed” because that is how his mother felt when she had him.

But the full ancient Hebraic meaning is “Happiness is in YAH.” (Yah is short for YHWH, the personal name of our Heavenly Father used over 6,000 times in Scripture.)

The middle name “Boaz” is in reference to the husband of Ruth, the great-grandfather of King David. It means “by strength.”

Ahsher Boaz = “Happiness is in Yah, by strength”

Pretty cool how that happened just in time for his birth, without any “advance planning,” worrying, or input on my part or my wife’s.

Sometimes that’s how our Heavenly Father works. He doesn’t always tell us the details in advance — because we don’t need to know — but rather wants us to competely trust Him and not “sweat the details.”

“Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the counsel of YHWH that stands.” -Prov 19:21

He always knows what He’s doing, and we can truly find our happiness in Him, by strength.

After an almost “all-nighter” home birth, this tired but excited dad is ready for some sleep now!

PS – Here is my favorite macho dad video that is sure to give you a few laughs if you’ve ever had the joy of changing baby diapers. I first posted this video when my fourth child was born two years ago. I still crack up every time I watch it.