As a dad, I have found that one of the greatest temptations is to provide FOR my family at the expense of time WITH them.

It is so easy to do. Especially if this was modeled to us by our own father.

As men, we have a tendency to connect our identity with such things as our income, our career, our financial status, and our material possessions.

And so we work… and work… and work.

I once had a high-stress, high-responsibility job where my ongoing intention was to “make it up to my family” by spending time with them at night, on the weekends, and on vacations.

But I was often exhausted from long days at the office with its accompanying pressures and stress.

The result was that my family really didn’t get much of their dad — even when he was physically present.

Either I had to make changes, or else I would lose my family.

Children who don’t get time with their dad inevitably look to other people and ways to find meaning, identity, love, and validation. And slowly but surely, their hearts turn away from their dad — one day at a time.

The same is true for our wives.

This is a reality some dads never discover, or else not before significant relational damage is done.

Ultimately we have to ask ourselves: Which is more important, my work or my family?

Let me encourage you to always be very conscious of this temptation of providing FOR your family at the expense of time WITH them. You are irreplaceable to your family. They love you and need you — every day.

Remember — it is the little, daily choices we make that will make the difference.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Practical Ways To Disciple Your Children
Parents are called and uniquely designed to disciple their children — not outsource this responsibility and priviledge to local churches or youth groups. Do you know the specific discipleship process Jesus used and how to apply it to your children? Learn More about Disciple Like Jesus For Parents

Making big decisions is something we dads have to do from time to time. Because of their importance and the process involved, today’s post is a bit longer than most.

A dad recently asked for my input on a very big decision he is considering — a career change from being employed to self-employment at home so he can give more time to his family.

Since this is something I have done — more than once — I shared with him from my experiences and thoughts on making big decisions. My response doesn’t cover everything on this topic, but here is what I said…

Regarding transitioning to working at home, I commend you highly on that decision. The benefit of having the flexibility with your time by working at home is extremely rewarding, much more-so than making more money working for someone else at the expense of time away from your family.

Having said that, I can also tell you it can be very challenging. Among other things, you must be very disciplined to focus on your work, and you do face risk of lapses in income.

First and foremost, you must be led by God’s spirit. Listen to His still, small voice and the impressions He speaks to your heart. Pay attention as you read the Bible and as you listen to other believers (not just Bible teachers but ALL believers who are walking with God.)

Second is unity with your wife. You must both be very confident and united in God’s direction. As the leader, you must take the action steps, but you should desire and esteem her input very highly.

God has confirmed His will for my wife and I on many occasions by speaking the same thing to us separately. It is amazing and very confirming when we come together and discover He has been telling us each the same thing. When this does not happen, I tend to not make a decision but continue to seek Him, listen to what He is saying to me, wait on His timing, and confirmation.

Third, God sometimes stirs in our hearts a longing/desire for the direction He wants us to go. For me, he put a heavy burden on my heart for dads to discover and embrace their influence and leadership as dads in their families.

In what way do you desire to help other people? What problem do you want to solve? What can you see yourself doing day in and day out? Once you have identified this, begin to discern God’s specific leading in relation to it.

A brochure I once picked up said this on the cover… “If you followed your heart, where would you go?” This question was so profound yet simple to me, I still keep that brochure in my laptop bag to this day as a reminder to continue to ask myself that question when facing important decisions.

Obviously, our hearts can deceive us if our desires are impure, but scripture tells us God shows Himself strong on behalf of those who are wholehearted toward Him. (Read the story surrounding 2 Chronicles 16:9.)

Fourth, be attentive to your circumstances and notice any repetition. When I was seeking God on moving, He identified a particular city and then one time after another brought up the name of that city through numerous random circumstances. Circumstances by themselves aren’t everything, but I have found them to be very important when seeking direction from God on a matter.

FInally, let me leave you with a quote that riveted me the first time I read it… “God responds to our faith, not our needs.” Jesus was frustrated, disappointed, and even limited in what He could do on numerous occasions when he encountered lack of faith.

Be a man of faith, which means simply “relying on God.” Don’t be presumptuous and foolish in your actions, but wait on God and step out in faith and obedience as He leads you. Do not merely make decisions based on logic and reason.

I recently had to make a very important decision that did not make sense from a financial standpoint, but I felt very strongly that God told me the time to make the decision was now and not wait for everything to fall into place financially first. My wife was in full support of this decision. So I took the step of faith and “stepped out into the water” BEFORE it parted, so to speak!

Here’s the bottomline…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

I hope this helps you with decisions you may be facing in your life and on behalf of your family. You might want to bookmark this post for future reference, and also forward it to other dads you may know who need encouragement in making decisions.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Caught Between A Dream and a Job offers very practical help for transitioning from a job you don’t enjoy to pursuing your dreams. This book helps you identify your ultimate purpose and helps you transition startegically from where you are to where you really want to be. Watch a video interview with the author and Learn More and Order.

As dads, part of leading our families involves the work God calls us to. Among other things, our work is a significant means of income, a primary channel through which God, our source of provision, supplies money to us and our family.

So imagine this scenario at your place of work. It’s Friday afternoon and your supervisor steps into your office with a seemingly casual question…

“Can you come into the conference room for a brief meeting?”

You finish your email, save the document, or complete whatever task you are right in the middle of, and then make your way down the hall to the company conference room. In the past, you’ve participated in many staff meetings, strategy planning sessions, and even birthday parties in this conference room, but none like today’s meeting.
“As you know, our company’s revenue has gone way down in recent months, and we’ve had to evaluate ways to significantly cut costs. Effective immediately, your position is being eliminated.”

And with that, you find yourself out of a job — without any advance notice and through no fault of your own. What makes this especially painful is the fact that you have given five years of faithful service to your company, many of those weeks spent working well over 40 hours.

When God closes a door in our lives — especially a major one like our work — the natural tendency is to panic and to project negative “what if” scenarios about our future. If we haven’t been in close relationship with God and regularly hearing from Him, we can be be easily overcome by feelings of fear, rejection, and even anger.

The song lyrics of “Look For A Window” give encouragement and advice to the person facing this very scenario:

Hot on the trail of God’s will
And getting warmer still
Stopped by the slam of a door
God, what’d You do that for?

When God closes a door, look for a window
Don’t stand at the door, there might be a window

Responsibilities change
And so do our pathways
One way God shows which way to go
Is to let the old road close

There’s no point in getting down on yourself
God is only pointing you somewhere else

In challenging times like this, a wise dad will go to God with this attitude in his heart and prayers…
“God, this did not take you by surprise. You knew this was going to happen, and You knew when it would happen. I am so grateful that you take care of me and my family. Help me guard my heart and my thoughts as I seek to know what you are doing in my life and what the next step is for me to take. You know our financial needs, and You are the source of provision for my family. So help me remain full of faith in You during this time, waiting on You, listening for Your promptings, and obedient to whatever You tell me. And thank You for your faithfulness to me during the past five years that I worked at this company.”

As I consider my closing thoughts on this topic, my six-year-old son, totally unaware of what I am writing about, just blurted out in the other room…

“Do you know what song I have in my head right now?”

He then proceeded to sing a kid’s song version of Matthew 6:34 which says, “Do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will look after itself.”

I suspect that verse is directly for someone who will read this. Out of the mouth of babes!

If you’re in the midst of job transition, stay encouraged, and continue to…

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” ~Proverbs 3:5-6

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

PS – This would be a good post to forward along to another dad you may know who is in the midst of job transition. Also, take him out for lunch or breakfast and spend some time with him talking and praying together. He would probably appreciate your friendship, kindness, and prayer support right now.

Do you know the five Biblical uses of money, the spiritual power behind money, the symptoms to guage where you are spiritually with your finances, and the two different economic systems in the world? Learn More

Because many dads are self-employed or have part-time businesses “on the side,” the need exists for many of them to develop email subscriber lists. Without question, it is one of the most important and effective ways to communicate with website visitors on an ongoing basis and provide information via email to those who request it, or “opt-in.”

So I wanted to let you know that from day one,  the service used by FamilyDads to send out weekly email newsletters has been Aweber Communications. If you also need to send out a series of emails automatically, weekly or monthly email Newsletters, or you have a list of subscribers that you regularly contact via email, FamilyDads recommends the Aweber email list service.

Aweber rates are very affordable, their service is extremely reliable (emails almost always go out right away — even to large lists), and we have found their delivery rate (getting past spam filters and into your subscribers’ inboxes) is exceptionally high. The Aweber system is also scalable, which means that as your list grows over time, you will not need to look for a more robust platform. Aweber can handle even very large lists as they are among the industry leaders in high volume bulk emailing with 11+ years of experience and a knowledgeable and competent, tech-savvy staff.

Aweber features include website signup forms (such as the one used on the FamilyDads homepage), professional email templates, follow up autoresponders, email web analytics, and many more features that are explained in more detail on their website. You can signup for a free test drive of Aweber to see exactly how their system works. If you’re looking for a bulk emailing solution or a way to capture the contact info of people who visit your website or blog, give Aweber a try today, you won’t be disappointed.

A dad in Texas shared an amazing story that recently happened at the company where he works.

His story makes a very strong case about our priorities…

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We all know how the economy is going nowadays, and probably most of us, if not all, are concerned about the near future, our jobs, and praying hard about it.

Yesterday at church I saw a good buddy of mine, and he was not looking good. So I took him aside and asked him what was going on. (We are accountability partners, and we often go straight to the point, no “how are you ?” between us.)

He told me that at his workplace “pink slips” were flying all around him, personnel reduction was the “word of the month,” and he was very worried about his job.

He works in IT and was studying madly to get a very hard IT certification to make his position harder to get rid of.

I understood, since I share his same concern, and I am in the ’same boat’ so to speak.

That made me think, and I told him the story I want to share with you all, that happened in my workplace last week.

Last Monday, as soon as we got to the office, we were told that one of the oldest executive managers in the company, “James” had passed on the night before, in his bed.

James was the General Manager of our most lucrative sales market, he had been the company VP and CFO
in different times, and was one of the oldest employees of the company.

The guy was working 12-14 hours a day, taking very little care of himself, and work was his life.

You all see where this is going, right?

A few days after the funeral, I was in the car with our VP, going to Dallas, for business. In the car we started to talk almost immediately about James and what had happened.

After a few casual comments of sorrow about his death, the VP made a comment that gave me the chills …

She said “You know, James “passing away” is going to save the company a lot of money, his salary was quite good, and all in all, we were considering “letting him go” anyway, for we still have to cut salaries and personnel…”

My heart sunk, for I realized how little “James” the man, the individual, had mattered to the company.

Technically, the comment was right.

Under the moral and “human” perspective, it was chilling.

Today, a week after the event, “James” is nearly forgotten.

Gone, merely a faint memory. His position will not be replaced, the company will save money, and that is the end of a 17 years old career.

Guys, put your time, heart and effort in your family and in God.

I still remember the stories my grandfather used to tell me, and he passed away 25 years ago.

My children still laugh and cherish the stories I tell them about my mother’s grandfather…

It’s just money, folks… rust and moths.

What really matters is in the hearts of people you live with, share laughs, experience life and faith with.

You (we all) are not what your job says.

We are fathers, husbands, a brother, a friend, a son of a wonderful God.

Your company will erase the memory of you in a few days, if you drop dead tomorrow.

Your family will remember you forever — put your sweat and effort where it will bear good fruits.

Sorry for the story, it’s probably depressing, but I felt the urgent need to vent…

God Bless you all, brothers.

TexasDad

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I pray this story has been a clear reminder to all of us dads of what and who to truly prioritize in 2009.

Blessings to you and your family in this new year,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – The best resource I’ve found on helping dads make and keep the right priorities is–
http://www.dadresources.com/product.asp?itemid=15