Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! God has blessed me with a very special wife who has shown me more love, patience, and companionship than any guy deserves!

In honor of the occasion, I thought I would pass along my “Top 10″ list of things you probably shouldn’t buy your wife as an anniversary gift. Not that I have bought any of these for my wife, but just so you know.

Here they are — Top 10 Things NOT To Buy Your Wife As An Anniversary Gift

10. Power Yard Tools (chainsaw, leaf blower, edger, etc.)

9. Computer memory

8. Gift Card to the local grocery store

7. Vacuum Cleaner bags

6. Gym Membership

5. Underarm Deodorant

4. Weight-Loss or Diet book

3. Furnace Filters

2. Laundry Basket

and coming in at #1…

1. A Television Remote

No, you don’t have to thank me for these valuable tips.

Got one to add to this list? Post it below.

Have a great week!

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Husband, Dad, and Host of FamilyDads.com

P.S. – The best date I ever took my wife on, according to her own words, involved this little brown book.

Well, the big Sunday is coming!

NO, not Super Bowl Sunday… the one after that.

Valentines DAY!

Got plans for the big day of romance with your special woman?

I personally don’t like the idea of focusing just one day out of the year on romancing our wives. It should be something we family dads naturally WANT to do on a very regular basis.

But the busy-ness of work, family, and every other demand on our time and energy can sometimes drag us into a “rut” or take the edge off our romantic creativity and planning.

So here are some ideas I came up with to help you express your love to her if you need a little help. But the important thing is to communicate to our wives, in our own unique way, just how important she is to us, how much we love her, and that we enjoy, desire, and cherish her.

1) Go for a leisurely drive in the countryside and just talk and enjoy the scenery together. Pack a picnic lunch or early dinner and look for a spot to share the meal together. (Hint: don’t have her prepare all the food for the picnic.)

2) Send all the kids downstairs to watch a movie, and then go for a long walk, hand-in-hand, with your gal, sharing with each other whatever she would like to talk about.

3) Write love notes to her and put them in all the places she will be that day… the nightstand, the sock drawer, the bathroom mirror, the fridge, her seat in the car (or minivan), and so on.

4) Organize something fun with your kids so that all of you can express your love for mom together. Let your children give input until you come up with something fun and meaningful together.

5) Have an extended time of praying together alone with your wife. Perhaps at the beginning of the day. Pray for your marriage, your children, your finances, your future, other people, and anything else God leads you to pray about. Let this time be unhurried and Spirit-led — not a laundry list to pray through.

6) Read a great marriage book together out loud, or at least several chapters, such as Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill, or Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

7) Forbid your wife to enter the kitchen all day long, and do all the dishes yourself or with your children helping.

If you’re really courageous, take some time to ask her what you can do to make your marriage better and then listen, carefully and undefensively, to what she tells you. Be sensitive not to get into a verbal fight over this! Don’t try to defend yourself but allow this time to be constructive for your marriage.

9) Do the “get-the-kids-to-bed” routine yourself while your wife takes a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by her favorite music.

10) End the night by candlelight and some physical romance. No commentary needed!

Since our wives are incredibly valuable and meaningful to us, let’s take advantage of this opportunity to intentionally and proactively express our deep love for them this Valentines Day.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Improving Your Marriage

Books don’t transform marriages, but the stories and insights of well-written books on marriage can open up the heart of the reader. And the heart is where change takes place. While there are many excellent marriage resources on the market, I personally recommend several books for us family dads to read. To see which ones they are, check out the marriage category at DadResources.com.

There is a verse in the New Testament of the Bible often quoted to us men about relating to our wives. The New American Standard version translates it like this:

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…” 1 Peter 3:7

Now, I used to think that meant we were to understand our wives — know how they think and respond appropriately with our actions. But after twelve years of marriage, let me share with you a story that illustrates rather vividly why “understanding our wives” cannot possibly be the correct interpretation of this verse.

It had been a long night. We didn’t get to bed until after midnight, and then our six-month old awoke around 1am hungry. About every 2 hours thereafter, my wife arose from her sleep to nurse him. She didn’t get much sleep that night.

The next day was our weekly grocery shopping day which we do together as a family. The entire process takes up almost half our day.

By about 5pm that day, my wife told me that she really needed to take a nap and asked if I could hold our fussy baby so she could sleep. Being the sensitive, loving guy that I am, I said “sure!” and took him from her while I finished up checking my email and a few other online tasks for the day.

That’s when I had a brilliant idea… or so I thought!

I proceeded to quietly load up our four kids in the car and took them all out — away from the house — so my wife could get a nice long quiet nap in. I even wrote her a note telling her of my actions and to call me when she woke up.

What a considerate guy! So far so good, right??!

Wrong!  I returned home about 2 hours later to a note that informed me my wife had spent much of the time of our absence in frustration and tears. HUH???

I won’t try to explain, but let’s just stay I was in a “no-win” situation. Had I stayed home with the kids, they would have inevitably prevented her from the nap she so desperately needed. And she would have not been happy. But by taking them out and leaving for a while, she cried because she missed her family and wanted to be with us.

In the end, no harm was done and we all enjoyed family dinner together and a good end to the day.

But I gotta tell you… from one dad to another — “Don’t try to figure your wife out!”

Yes, love her. Yes, be kind and considerate to her. Yes, give her your time, your ear, your muscles, your attention, your affection, and more.

But live with your wife with this understanding: you don’t really have her “figured out,” especially if you think you do.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – I Peter 3:7 is really an excellent verse for us husbands; but the point of this email was to share my story and debunk a common myth. In a different email, we’ll explore what this verse is really teaching.

P.P.S. – Need help with your marriage? Check out the marriage category at DadResources.com

Tim Hawkins Gives Marriage Advice To Dads – The Wife Song

Tim Hawkins is a Christian, a comedian, and a Family Dad who is married with 4 kids of his own. In this music video, Tim Hawkins carefully shares with us, using his acoustic guitar, a number of important things we men should never say to our wives. Be sure to have a pen and paper handy as you watch this video so you can jot down important reminders to yourself. Because if you’re a man who wants to live a long and happy life, these are the things you don’t say to your wife. And be sure to leave a comment with your own confessions of things you’ve said to your wife that should have never come out of your mouth… to advise the rest of us!

Tim Hawkins: The Wife Song – Things You Don’t Say To Your Wife

The Wife Song is on Tim Hawkins DVD called Full Range of Motion.

Check out all of the Tim Hawkins Comedy DVD Videos at DadResources.com Tim gives hours of laughs for both parents and children – fun for the whole family!

Another marriage may have permanently ended last week when a husband and father of four boys recently flew down to Argentina for a five-day fling with a woman who was not his wife.

If you follow the news, you know I’m referring to South Carolina’s governor, Mark Sanford.

If that wasn’t enough, the event happened over Father’s Day.

Married to his wife Jenny for 20 years — yes twenty — Mark is yet another example of our vulnerability as men in the area of sexual temptation.

Last year, I wrote about then-governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, a husband and father of three daughters, who was publicly exposed for involvement with a woman who was not his wife.

These men’s appetites for sensual pleasure controlled their hearts to the point that it ultimately resulted in acting out their thoughts and fantasies for a brief episode of physical pleasure at the expense of their family.

They betrayed their wives… their children… their grand-children… and more.

This area of temptation probably trips up more dads than any other single issue. Why? Because it is so attractive, so alluring, so provocative, so accessible, and so seemingly easy to keep secret.

Dad, maybe you’re not governor of a state. It doesn’t matter. Whether or not you have public leadership obligations, know this…

Our families are DEPENDING on our loyalty.

Our wives are DEPENDING on our faithfulness.

Our children are DEPENDING on our integrity.

They need our loyalty, faithfulness, and integrity, whether they express it to us or not.

Unfaithful behavior has repercussions that are NOT limited to you alone. They touch many areas of your life… your relationship with God, your wife, your children, friends, co-workers, work productivity, leadership status, finances, and more.

If you struggle in this area of temptation and have not shared it with another man whom you trust for accountability, you need to take that first step.

Find another man or small group of men with whom you can meet regularly to expose your heart, your thoughts, and your actions. Someone you trust enough to share honestly with.

Use Internet accountability software to protect your marriage and setup your wife as your accountability partner to view your Internet viewing daily reports.

In this day and age of “anything goes” morals, we must be loyal to our family with our eyes, our thoughts, our actions… our hearts.

Remember this strategy each time you are tempted: “What I feed grows; what I starve dies.”

Let us also remember to pray for Mark and Jenny Sanford and their four boys during this time.

“Let not immorality be heard of among you.”  ~Ephesians 5:3

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Internet Accountability Software

For less than $8 a month, Covenant Eyes software can monitor all the websites you visit each day and send an email report to people you select for accountability. Optional filtering service also blocks objectionable websites from your computer.

FamilyDads has arranged to offer a 30 day free trial period by entering promo code FamilyDads when signing up.

Learn more at–
http://www.covenanteyes.com/?promocode=familydads

To all the moms out there. We dads love you so much and couldn’t do it without you! You are an amazing testimony of God’s goodness, love, and beauty. Happy Mother’s Day!

Hey Fellow Dad,

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that there are times when your marriage isn’t always as great as you’d like it to be.

In my family, we have 3 very active children, a fourth one on the way, a family-run business, and we homeschool. Finding time to spend alone with my wife is a bit challenging.

Yet I know for an absolute fact that the times when I take her out on dates and give her my complete, undivided attention and focus means more to her… and to our marriage… than almost anything else I could do.

I know this because she has told me so… more than once.

All the flowers, chocolate, jewelry, movies, or anything else I “buy” for her don’t even come close to the love she feels from me when I simply give her my time and focused attention. It makes her feel valued and cherished by me.

One of the best dates we’ve ever had was exactly like this. Since Valentine’s Day is coming up,  I asked her to briefly share about it. (The book she mentions is called My Wife Journal, and I highly recommend it no matter what stage of marriage you are at.)

“This is what I can tell you from my heart. I will always remember our date on a cold winter night.

Rather than getting desert at the restaurant and rushing off to see a movie, our going to the quiet, empty eating area of a local supermarket was one of the best dates I’ve ever had with you.

It was so much better than any flowers or anything you personally could have bought me.  With your work at such a hectic pace in your life, it was like you took the time to stop and focus on me.

Blessings on your marriage,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – Don’t forget, Valentine’s Day is February 14th!

It was produced on a $500,000 budget and has already taken in over $33 million in just the US alone!

Blessings on your week,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

Given the economic news in the headlines, let’s take a look at what we dads should be worrying about right now.

Just to be clear, Webster defines worry as “a mental distress or agitation resulting from concern usually for something impending or anticipated; anxiety”

So, with that in mind, as the fearless leaders of our families, what should we dads have anxiety over right now as we see the economic horizon before us and the dropping financial markets around the globe?

Should we worry most about how we’re going to pay our bills this month? How we’re going to pay for our children’s education? Marriage issues with our wife over our finances or other areas of stress? Concerns about keeping our job or making a profit from our business if we’re self-employed? The outlook of the economy of our country? Our savings? Health issues? Who will be the next President?

Oh, the list could go on and on…

Pressing issues can seem so huge and “in-your-face” when you’re a dad with a family.

But guess what?

The Bible says that there is absolutely NOTHING that we dads should be worrying about… NOTHING!

“Do not worry over things, but always by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding,  shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.”  — Philippians 4:6-7

Instead of worrying about whatever is trying to scare you this day, this week, or this month…

Instead, do what the Bible says:
1. Go to God in prayer
2. Ask Him specifically for your requests
3. Give Him thanks for hearing and answering your request
4. Focus your thoughts and your confidence in His provision

Peace from God will be your result — not worry.

Notice we are do to this *always*!

If you know a dad who is worrying about anything in his life or family, forward this email to encourage him with the Biblical solution for his worry.

You have such an important role to play in your family, dad. I pray God’s richest blessings on you today, protection from temptation, and a sense of urgency to proactively lead your family in all things.

Fixing The Money Thing

Author Gary Keesee’s past included massive debt, loans, liens, bounced checks, and much stress. Today he is completely free of all debt, owns several profitable businesses, and teaches people how to “fix the money thing” by applying spiritual laws in the area of finances.Learn More and Order

by Joey Watkins

Today’s message is dedicated to all dads everywhere who have children still living at home. I pray this message will penetrate our hearts and impact our actions.

As tempting and overwhelming as it is, we must not let our work consume us. It is so passively easy to get wrapped up in our work, be absorbed in thoughts and actions to get our work done, take on more projects, try to bring closure to existing projects, focus our effort and energy on our work, and give constant attention to our job/career/business to generate more income or because our identity, purpose, or calling are falsely tied to our work.

All at the expense of our family… our wives and children. They crave time with us. They desperately need our time. They need us to simply spend time with them. Often. Daily.

They need our influence. They need relationship with us. And this cannot happen if our work consumes us.

Are our wives and children not the most important people on earth in our lives?

Do we not cherish them greater than everyone else?

Let us then be committed as dads to prioritize them. Every day. Not just on the weekends when we “unwind” from our work.

“But my work is my sacrifice for my family and my way of providing for them.”

The Bible says in 1 Samuel 15:22 that “…to obey is better than sacrifices.” God has called each of us dads to obey Him and His Word in raising our children and loving our wives. And that involves our TIME and proactive involvement in their lives.

As a husband and dad with 4 young children, I constantly remind myself of this message. I pray it stays at the top of your thoughts too.

R E S O U R C E S   for   D A D S