Well, the big Sunday is coming!

NO, not Super Bowl Sunday… the one after that.

Valentines DAY!

Got plans for the big day of romance with your special woman?

I personally don’t like the idea of focusing just one day out of the year on romancing our wives. It should be something we family dads naturally WANT to do on a very regular basis.

But the busy-ness of work, family, and every other demand on our time and energy can sometimes drag us into a “rut” or take the edge off our romantic creativity and planning.

So here are some ideas I came up with to help you express your love to her if you need a little help. But the important thing is to communicate to our wives, in our own unique way, just how important she is to us, how much we love her, and that we enjoy, desire, and cherish her.

1) Go for a leisurely drive in the countryside and just talk and enjoy the scenery together. Pack a picnic lunch or early dinner and look for a spot to share the meal together. (Hint: don’t have her prepare all the food for the picnic.)

2) Send all the kids downstairs to watch a movie, and then go for a long walk, hand-in-hand, with your gal, sharing with each other whatever she would like to talk about.

3) Write love notes to her and put them in all the places she will be that day… the nightstand, the sock drawer, the bathroom mirror, the fridge, her seat in the car (or minivan), and so on.

4) Organize something fun with your kids so that all of you can express your love for mom together. Let your children give input until you come up with something fun and meaningful together.

5) Have an extended time of praying together alone with your wife. Perhaps at the beginning of the day. Pray for your marriage, your children, your finances, your future, other people, and anything else God leads you to pray about. Let this time be unhurried and Spirit-led — not a laundry list to pray through.

6) Read a great marriage book together out loud, or at least several chapters, such as Love & War by John and Stasi Eldredge, Two Fleas and No Dog by Craig Hill, or Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs.

7) Forbid your wife to enter the kitchen all day long, and do all the dishes yourself or with your children helping.

If you’re really courageous, take some time to ask her what you can do to make your marriage better and then listen, carefully and undefensively, to what she tells you. Be sensitive not to get into a verbal fight over this! Don’t try to defend yourself but allow this time to be constructive for your marriage.

9) Do the “get-the-kids-to-bed” routine yourself while your wife takes a relaxing bubble bath accompanied by her favorite music.

10) End the night by candlelight and some physical romance. No commentary needed!

Since our wives are incredibly valuable and meaningful to us, let’s take advantage of this opportunity to intentionally and proactively express our deep love for them this Valentines Day.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com

Improving Your Marriage

Books don’t transform marriages, but the stories and insights of well-written books on marriage can open up the heart of the reader. And the heart is where change takes place. While there are many excellent marriage resources on the market, I personally recommend several books for us family dads to read. To see which ones they are, check out the marriage category at DadResources.com.

December is such a great time of year.

Where I live, we enjoy a lengthy holiday season, decorated houses and yards colorfully lit up at night, the sending and receiving of Christmas cards, fantastic Christ-focused music playing in the stores, delicious food with family and friends, and extended downtime from work to spend with our family.

Andy Williams’ song indeed says it best… “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

But there is something else I like that is unique to December…

It gives us an opportunity for two very important things:

1. Reflect on the year coming to an end
2. Consider and plan for the new year approaching

As dads, this involves significant action on our part!

So, how was your 2009?

Did you spend enough time — quality time as well as quantity — with each of your children this year?

How about time with your wife?

Did you teach and train your children in the things you wanted them to gain understanding in this year?

Would you say they are closer to reaching your goals for their lives than they were at the start of this year?

Is your marriage richer, closer, and more fulfilling for both of you than it was at the beginning of this year?

How will 2009 be remembered in your memories?

I encourage you to write down at least one top memory you have with each of your children and your wife from 2009.

In fact, why not gather the family together one evening after dinner and just sit around and share memories from the year? Reminisce about the fun times and signficant events and memories from 2009, and even write them down or have a recorder handy while everyone shares.

And then consider and discuss how you might make 2010 an even better year… for you personally, for your marriage, and for your family.

Have a planning time with just your wife too. It’s a great bonding experience.

Listen carefully and openly to her input.

Let me encourage you as we wrap up this year to also set aside some time alone to reflect on the year we are about to say goodbye to, and plan for the new year.

Spend time praying about this, too, discerning God’s direction for you and your family. Listen to Him most of all.

And commit to honor Him in the new year as the dad of your children, the husband of your wife, and the leader of your home.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

P.S. – As you consider your year-end giving, if you can help FamilyDads with our ongoing financial needs, we could sure use it.  It will encourage me personally, but more importantly provide much needed funds to help more dads discover, embrace, and maximize their influence and leadership in their family in 2010.

P.P.S. – Thank you to everyone who has done some of their Christmas shopping at DadResources.com this month. You can still place orders using Priority Mail for delivery in time for Christmas. Shop here.

Each year I am amazed at what stores display and people place on their lawns for Halloween. My wife cringes when she takes our children shopping at the local grocery store and has to tell them to look away from the objects that are hanging or sitting on the shelves…. and in our neighbor’s yards.

Witches, ghosts, skeletons, vampires, and more. It’s a rather sad commentary on the mainstream culture today.

So do you have any specific plans with your family this Saturday?

Many choose to celebrate a “fall festival” at their local church or in the community.

Others recognize and commemorate the historic Reformation Day when Martin Luther posted his 95 Thesis on October 31, 1517 in protest to the corruption of the religious leaders of his day.

Last year, rather than buying bags full of junk food candy, our family decided to get creative and make healthy alternatives for the costumed children who would inevitably knock on our front door looking for sugar-filled handouts.

On each individually-wrapped “treat” we attached a Bible verse or a simple message communicating God’s love. Our children had a blast giving them out, and we created a holiday memory they will probably remember — and hopefully emulate — when they have children of their own.

If your family does something fun, memorable, or meaningful for H-Day, please share it to give ideas to the rest of us. Post your message below in the Comment Box.

If not, let me encourage you to make the most of this weekend with your family. Even pray together as a family and ask God to show you how to make it meaningful, memorable, and creatively minister to others who may come from broken homes or don’t know He loves them.

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

“Dad, I never really knew you.”

For too many dads, this is the legacy left behind to our children.

For a dad who was mostly absent during their childhood, their memories of him are few, consisting mainly of their dad consumed with his work, hobby, sports, ministry, or some other priority… but which communicated to his children… “you are less important.”

For other children, their dominant memories of dad include anger, violence, abuse, or addictions that kept him in bondage and feared by his children.

An absent dad or abusive dad does not have to be the legacy you leave your children. Instead, your legacy can be…

“Dad, Your impact on my life was outstanding… Thank You!”

Beginning this coming Father’s Day, only three weeks away, you have a unique opportunity to be encouraged, challenged, and equipped to become a better husband and father at the first ever 5-night online webinar event for dads…

The Dad Summit

Men will gather online in a webinar environment for five nights to hear from top national men’s ministry leaders who have a passion and a burden for helping men be better husbands and fathers.

Topics addressed will include how men gain identity, the impact of father power, practical “real-world” marriage tips for men, money issues in our current economy, discipling our children, victory over sexual temptation, and more. Each session will also include Q&A from participants, giving you a unique opportunity to dialogue with the speakers with your most urgent questions.

We want you to be with us at this first ever large-scale virtual event for dads. Because FamilyDads is hosting this event, you can register for the Dad Summit and receive a special $5 off registration during checkout by simply entering this coupon code: familydadsblog5

Each of our speakers has recording a special mp3 audio overview of their sessions which you can access at http://www.DadSummit.com

For Moms… 

Even though FamilyDads is geared just for us dads, we know that some moms also read these posts just to check it out or to get insights and ideas for encouraging their husbands. So as a mom, maybe one of your biggest questions is “How can I help my husband be more involved in our family?” or “How can my husband gain more vision to lead our family?”

If you’ve ever asked these questions, why not register your husband for the Dad Summit as a special Father’s Day gift?!

It could have eternal impact on your family for generations to come!

Moms can learn more at– http://www.DadSummit.com/moms

$5 Off Coupon

As a FamilyDads blog reader, you can register for the Dad Summit and receive a special $5 off registration during checkout by simply entering this coupon code: familydadsblog5

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads

PS – We truly hope you can join us at the first-ever online Dad Summit just 3 weeks from now! But remember, even if your schedule is already booked that week, you can still register and access all the sessions later because we are recording them.

This past Saturday, Valentine’s Day, was an opportunity for many of us dads to be creative and express our love to our wife and/or our children in a fun, special way.

Some dads used the My Wife Journal and took their wife out on a special romantic date. (If you didn’t take advantage of this tool, it’s a great little guide to use on any date with your wife!)

If you were one of these dads, my hat’s off to you!

At our home, we baked “heart cookies” and gave small gifts and personally-written cards to one another over a leisurely Saturday morning breakfast.

That evening, I took my wife out for some one-on-one time, shopping for her, and we sat down over dessert to discuss much-needed vision for our family and our future.

If you did something that was especially meaningful to your wife and/or your children on Valentine’s Day, why not share it with the rest of us and encourage a bunch of other dads?! If you used the My Wife Journal, tell us how it went!

Write up your story and email it to me. If I select yours to share with the FamilyDads list, not only will we all get to read your great story, but you’ll also win a copy of Todd Wilson’s excellent book, Father Power, compliments of DadResources.com. (This book is one of my most favorite of all books for dads to read!)

Also, I just received permission to post an audio online of a message that was recently given regarding this year 2009 that I think will be a tremendous challenge and encouragement to you as it relates to your faith and your finances. I’ll share the link to the audio later this week!