Where I am, it’s snowing right now. And for my kids, the word “snow” is synonymous with “fun.” I think if they had to choose between a day at a theme park or playing in the snow, they would probably choose the snow.

In a few hours, enough snow will have accumulated on the ground for them to spend the afternoon running and playing in the white stuff.

My work allows me the flexibility to spend time with my children when I want to — such as an afternoon in the snow. I am very grateful for this flexibility. It is one of the rewards of self-employment.

But I still have to make that choice to give my time to my family. I could just as easily spend my afternoon getting “caught up” on work, emails, and other pressing tasks.

My kids would still run out and have a good time without me.

But that’s just it. It would be WITHOUT DAD!

Years from now, when they are grown, I want my children to be able to look back on their childhood memories and remember the times when dad WAS there. I want to model that kind of fatherhood to them so they can model it to their children and pass it down for generations to come.

An absent dad is one of the most damaging things that can happen to a child. It is also one of the most effective tactics used today to break down the family and develop apathy and disrespect of children toward their fathers.

I pray you will have many opportunities this year to choose time with your children over your work, hobbies, and other distractions. Your work will always be there, but your children won’t.

Involving your children in your life and investing your time in their lives is something we family dads MUST do!

Blessings to you and your family,
Joey Watkins
Founder, FamilyDads.com

Choosing To Cheat is a book by Andy Stanley I highly recommend to dads who struggle with giving their family enough time or who aren’t in a position to do so because of their job responsibilities or workload.

If for some reason you cannot see the video on this page, go to http://www.YouTube.com/familydads

If you would like to see more videos from Joey at FamilyDads, please let us know by commenting below.

Here’s a post on the topic of “back-to-school” with relevance for us dads. There is so much we could cover on this topic of school, but since you’re busy, I’ll just touch on a few key things…

For Dads Who Homeschool

For those dads who home school, like our family does, our wives typically do more of the actual subject instruction than we do. One of the things that can help her MOST on a practical level is our involvement in the planning process.

Discussing and planning the subjects each of our children will take this year, choosing the actual curriculum, and the concepts we want them to grasp. And praying together for each of our children’s school year, and for our wives as they teach.

A friend of mine plans a get-away weekend with his wife to go over all these things. It is THAT important to them. I admire his level of being intentional and proactively involved in the education of his children. He takes responsibility for his family. He also teaches several of their subjects… math, Bible, etc.

Why not block out an evening, a full day, or an entire weekend for one-on-one time with your wife to interact on this extremely important topic? What would doing this with your wife, communicate to her in terms of how much you value the education of your children and the primary role she plays in that?!

Also, we need to stay involved on a weekly basis with our wives and not let her shoulder this responsibility alone. Ask her each evening how school went that day, and then LISTEN to her talk… not necessarily to problem-solve… but so she can just “unload” to another adult about her day.

Remember, she is surrounded by children all day and needs time with another adult. It is important that she stay connected with other moms too on a weekly basis whom she can hang out with, trade stories, and encourage one another.

For Dads Whose Kids Attend Public/Private School

If your family doesn’t homeschool, your situation is a bit different. Since other adults will be instructing your children, it is important for you, dad, to be very aware of what they are learning and being exposed to, how they are doing with their homework, what help they need, and for them to know of your support and interest in their schooling.

Read their course syllabus, talk to them about their teacher(s), their classes, their friends, sports, extra-curricular activities, etc., not to come across nosey, but because you care and want to be involved in their world. Help them with the tough subjects and concepts they aren’t grasping — and do it with patience in love!

Resist The BIG Temptation

Regardless of your chosen schooling method, one of the biggest temptations for us dads is to just let the school year go on “auto-pilot” and before we know it, it’s time for Christmas break!

Since we dads are focused on our work and have our own fires to put out every day at the office or jobsite, it is *very* easy to be passive about our children’s school year.

School is a big deal to our children and our wives. Let’s make it a big deal to us dads too! It’s one of the best ways we can show them we LOVE and affirm them.

Here’s a great book for ALL dads to read to help us encourage our wives in practical ways on a regular basis. It’s short. And funny too!

cartoon by Family Dad Todd Wilson

With all the news and media frenzy surrounding the untimely death of pop star Michael Jackson at the age of 50, this article takes a look at Michael’s life from a different angle… the role his father Joseph Jackson played in his life.

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When he was 12, his parents separated. He moved to Oakland CA with his father until the age of 18.

Then he moved to Chicago to be near his mother.

He was briefly married, then ended that marriage and married another woman.

He was a crane operator for a steel company, played guitar in a band with his brother, and later returned to his “day job” when the band failed to get a record deal while his wife “tended to the children.”

He discovered his children had musical talent and began to manage their budding careers. As their success increased, he reportedly required his children to call him “Joseph” instead of “father” or “dad.”

Over the years, his children told stories to the media of their dad’s physical and emotional abusiveness to them.

Holding them upside down, tripping them, pushing them into walls, screaming, shouting, and frightening them are just some of the stories they relayed about their father.

One of his sons, Michael,  shared that he often cried from loneliness and would sometimes get sick or start to vomit upon seeing his father.

He recalled that his dad sat in a chair with a belt in his hand when he and his siblings rehearsed and that “if you didn’t do it the right way, he would tear you up, really get you.”

Who was this dad? He was Joseph Jackson, the father of the late pop music icon Michael Joseph Jackson.

As millions around the world have followed the recent story of Michael’s death in the news and media, it’s worth reflecting on how Michael’s life, behavior, and tragic death were impacted by the violent, abusive, wounded relationship he had with his father, again reminding us of the power of influence we fathers have in the lives of our children.

According to childhood friend Brooke Shields, Michael Jackson’s favorite song (not one of his own, by the way) was called “Smile” and included a line that said… ”Smile though your heart is aching.”

Life is short. Find healing from your own paternal past. Ask forgiveness where you’ve blown it with your children and spouse. And make the most of your influence in your family for good. Because, fellow dad, only you have “father power.”

Bio Source:

http://www.information.is-the-coolest.com/x/Joseph_Jackson.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Jackson

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Joey Watkins is a husband, father of four children, and founder of FamilyDads, a dad-founded and dad-focused organization committed to helping dads prioritize and lead their family. In a culture that minimizes fatherhood, dads need to know the tremendous influence they have in their sons’ and daughters’ lives and destinies, and they need encouragement from other dads as they lead their family. Sign up for the FamilyDads eNewsletter at http://www.FamilyDads.com

A father had three grown children, two sons and a daughter.

One son was divorced. The other son was getting ready to file for a divorce.

The parents had never liked their son’s wife and had tried everything they could to split the marriage and find him another wife.

The sons and the father had a broken relationship. It was so bad, if either son even saw him in a store, they walked down another aisle to avoid him.

There was much bitterness and hatred.

Yet this was a father who was very involved in church, even in prominent leadership roles.

The father attended an event where he heard about God’s promise and provision to fathers, God’s blueprint for the family, and the Biblical role of the father.

God turned the heart of this father in a very significant way… toward his sons, toward his family.

He was so convicted about his failure as a father, he asked himself…

“Is it too late? I’ve already done my child rearing. My children are adults now.”

He wrote 12 letters to his sons. Letters of repentance…

“Would you please forgive me for not being the father to you I should have been?”

“I didn’t know I was supposed to do anything with you?”

“I didn’t know how to call you out as sons?”

“I want to minister to you now.”

“I want to be the father to you that God intended me to be.”

As the father did that, and his heart was turned toward his children, God turned the hearts of his children to him.

The first son turned his heart to God for the first time, came to his father, and began to confess to him things he had done wrong.

The 2nd son, on the very day of filing divorce papers, after listening to the teachings from the event the father attended, was so convicted that he confessed his own sins and turned his heart to seek God.

His wife said when he walked in the door, she immediately knew something had changed his life. She said “I want that” and came with him to his parents for counseling! The parents confessed to the daughter-in-law how they had not loved her and all the things they done against her.

The dad sent the teaching messages to his daughter. Her husband listened.

The daughter said it completely changed his heart and turned his heart toward his family.

God healed this family!

It is a testimony of God’s promise to broken families:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD; And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children and the heart of the children to their fathers…” ~Malachi 4:5-6

God keeps His word.  He  will turn the hearts of a family back to the fathers when the heart of the father is turned to the children.

Norm Wakefield will be sharing this teaching at the Dad Summit, the first-of-its-kind LIVE webinar event for dads. It starts this Sunday night at 9pm Eastern. There is still time to save $15 on Advance Registration.

Blessings to you and your family,

Joey Watkins

Founder, FamilyDads.com